Author Topic: 2019 Farm Life  (Read 1373 times)

lighter

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #120 on: June 05, 2019, 11:07:32 AM »
Cling to that board, Amber!

We'll be here.

Lighter

Hopalong

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #121 on: June 05, 2019, 02:01:38 PM »
Lord, the suspense.
I just hope you are OKAY, Amber!!!

Beware others controlling or invading your space and affecting your autonomy.

It's probably nothing like that but just felt the need to say it.

Love and comfort,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #122 on: June 06, 2019, 07:38:15 AM »
Seriously - it's all good stuff.
I am SUCH a tease.... LOL.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #123 on: June 06, 2019, 12:18:35 PM »
It's a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan...........

 :lol:
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #124 on: June 07, 2019, 09:52:54 AM »
MAYBE Hops. My friend will be coming next weekend to help sort out the mechanical issues on my Rubicon. We'll see; there's not much of a future in that relationship given his medical condition. But that is an assumption that perhaps is incorrect. No expectations; no strings. And I have to tune my ear to the "southern" wavelength again... so I can understand him. This is a friendship that's grown into itself over years now.

But the big news, is that Hol & Steve are expecting. After the breakup with Matt, and her road trip, etc... I started hearing about this 180 she was doing about her feelings about being a mother. There were the appropriate fires and all, around the main "high feast days" of the Amazonian persuasion to that effect. She is about 95% sure; it will be confirmed next Friday... along with conception date which is really important to her. (Pray for good weather in Jan...she was born in the blizzard of '78).

She was sooooo cute; the little Hol - Monday morning. Crept into my room during my 1st cup of coffee, with tingly happy energy about to burst out her... and she showed me the strong positive test. She hadn't even told Steve yet - he was still sleeping. She was like a little girl getting her first puppy or kitty happy... LOL.

So, the farm development I was planning to do... in order to pass on after my passing on... is getting an imminent input of younger folks and their "can do" energy... and they are influencing development plans, too. Beyond the Holly Hut... which needs the floor plan adapted for an extra room now. LOL.
More hands make lighter work around here - and they have knowledge & skill sets beyond mine. That's all good. At the moment, no one is insisting on "the way it should be"... and we're all figuring it out one day at a time. Steve is still a little in shock; but definitely in good humor about it all. At her age (she'll be 42 around the due date)... it's going to take some extra care & precautions, but so far I am restraining myself from hovering over her. Steve is learning about this too... so he's been more outspoken about some things than previously. He's in for the long haul, it appears.

So CHANGES. My normal crazy most comfortable space. Just need to take a care about my energy levels, too.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #125 on: June 07, 2019, 10:54:34 PM »
Oh my GOODNESS!

That is such amazing news, Amber...hope it's filling you with joy.

Awww. I am very happy for you.

I'm so glad she's happy and you're happy and well, hope Steve will get that way!

love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #126 on: June 08, 2019, 08:10:02 AM »
He's being very funny and supportive. There are depths to him that we're learning about.

And we're just giddy happy.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Twoapenny

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #127 on: June 09, 2019, 12:22:56 AM »
Aw, Skep, that's lovely news, how very exciting!  A whole new project for you to get in to!  Lol, such an exciting time and such a big adventure ahead!  I'm really happy for all of you xx

sKePTiKal

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #128 on: June 09, 2019, 09:55:30 AM »
Thanks. I'm reminded of how much work this is... we're both getting pretty tired. The odd, middle of the night, sit up in bed and not be able to go back to sleep dreams are starting too. We are getting up at the same time... so I can only imagine my "mom brain" is subconsiously picking up on her distress... and reacting. None of it is rational fears fueling it; just the loose, untethered imaginative what-ifs. Which is, in it's own way, another form of processing methinks.

With almost all the pieces of before this particular of knowledge still kind of up in the air and settling back down into a new pattern, it's easy to feel ungrounded, discombobulated and out of sorts. Yet we're still managing that pretty well... surfing it. Both of us know it takes time for new patterns to emerge... and while it's possible to TRY to arrange it per a preconceived notion, in reality the power of the pattern's inherent organization is way outside our control. That's why: Adapt and Overcome is the motto around here.

Adapt to reality and overcome our internal ideas/resistance - and keep zeroing in on doing the "right thing" as close to the "right time" as we can.

The current vehicle debacles... is part & parcel of that adjustment. My grace period for dealing with maintenance issues after Mike's passing and moving ran out. Of course I was aware; of course I simply procrastinated as I was involved in so many other things - that I could justify as "more important" and that made it a "can't" for me to just knuckle down and deal with it. It is indeed, way more difficult to manage living as far out as I am. But it isn't impossible.

While we have a pretty comfortable cushion here, where we can ignore civilization for an extended time... we aren't THAT self-sufficient yet. It will take dedicated work & learning about new things & cooperation over the next 5 years or so, to just bump that capability up to the next level. There are still lots of things I need to discover, gauge as to reliability, and get over the fact that nothing is "convenient" about this lifestyle. There are definitely things I can create to replace the convenience of suburbia that are effectively successful. But as Tupp's realizes - it takes time to move new habits into "how the things get done" around here.

I rather like times like this (despite my frustrations and protestations and whining) - where the old/new are jumbled together and things aren't totally in my "comfort zone"... flying by the seat of my pants and making up "new" as I go along, to see by trial and error what works, and what doesn't. Eventually that sinks into my hard head, over the persistant whining about "what I want" and somehow being able to magically will it into existence. My local farm boys are a big help validating my understanding of that process... what kinds of inputs need to go into it... and giving me big grins as I start to figure it out. Absolutely none of them think I'm helpless, feeble or clueless about what I'm choosing to do and how I go about it. We're all working within the conditions provided by mother nature and trying to find the best balance possible.
« Last Edit: June 09, 2019, 09:57:49 AM by sKePTiKal »
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #129 on: June 09, 2019, 10:20:08 AM »
A
BABY!!

I'm so excited for you, Amber!  I think babies are my most favorite things in the world.... my happiest days were when my girls were little. 

You sound centered, and on track. Hol and Steve sound ready.... I think 42 is a great age to become a mother.  All that experience, and growth.... we've pretty much done all the youthful things, and can surrender to the joys of parenting, IME.  I was 39 when I had my second, whoo hoo!  So exciting!

 Having the country boys around sounds comforting... and helpful.  You're certainly not helpless, and I detect a lovely self compassion in this post. 

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Hopalong

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #130 on: June 09, 2019, 12:11:21 PM »
So wise, Amber.
Understanding that nature is in charge of this one.
But trusting that, too.

And yourselves!

What's wonderful for this baby is three people right on the spot
who will love and help her/him as s/he grows. And s/he'll grow up in beauty.
Nature. The wind the trees the plants the birds.

And GRANDMA!!!!!

I think babies are really simple. Exhausting, but simple.
They are so brilliant they awe me.

I am so excited for you!

Hugs
Hops
« Last Edit: June 09, 2019, 03:32:05 PM by Hopalong »
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

sKePTiKal

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #131 on: June 13, 2019, 09:55:18 AM »
And the big, deep swells of ocean keep on rolling... gently, peacefully... belying the depths below and the other manifestion of mother ocean.

Don't know what it is... but there's a little anxiety stirring in all of us, that is still in the depths. Maybe it's nothing except stretching out to adjust to new circumstances. Even had a dream that was full of those symbols. Keep breathing, keep surfing...

I've spent a couple days making another major step in getting the studio adjusted to shared workspace. Found some holes in the music collection and am correcting that. Music is a huge part of working for both Hol and me. Moved functional pieces around, she hung some more of her art collection - so is claiming space; I've got about a third of the space reorganized for me to flip from the easel to the sewing table on a whim. We've still got the hang-out space too, with overflow accomodations for guests. It's still cozy; just more functional now.

Plans are coming together for my gentleman friend to visit and rescue my Rubicon from whatever malfunction it has. He's bringing along an apprentice of his, to help with the driving, since they'll likely drive all night Friday night. I'm still excited to spend some time with him... but the normal, withdraw & hide reflex is popping up too. (it's entirely un-necessary; I know this) So, I've got to get myself re-focused on the next preparation - all kitchen work, so we don't need to spend a lot of time cooking/cleaning up and I can be ready to feed my helpers and give them an instant place to crash and rest before diving into mechanical stuff. Hol took half the work off of me, while I spent two days scrubbing all the grunge from the winter off the studio floor and put probably the first shine on the laminate it's gotten since installation. The whole space feels and smells much cleaner now. Ready for fresh good times.

It's cool and rainy here today. An introspective sort of ambiance.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #132 on: June 14, 2019, 10:51:48 AM »
I love clean floors, Amber.  Reminds me of Grandmother's clean farmhouse floors....feels like sacred space.

Cool rainy days are lovely.... we've enjoyed them lately too...been in yard moving stones, and watching water shed. 

I thought no some anxiety is natural when huge change is imminent.  Humans aren't good at unknowns, and there's so many....lots to figure out.  Lots of things to be revealed in their own time.  Waiting is a skill.  You do everything you can, then try to relax I to present moments.  Or not.

You and Hold will figure this out.  Everything will be ok.

Lighter
PS  make a lasagna or chicken pot pie ahead.  When things get busy, it's so easy to feed a crew.


sKePTiKal

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #133 on: June 15, 2019, 06:30:33 AM »
I've got slow-cooked pork to pull this morning Lighter. Potato salad and bean dip for grazing is done. I agree on cooking ahead. This might be the only time I see my friend face to face - and I don't want to spend that time in the kitchen.

He's bringing apprentice of his too; they drove all night and it only makes sense. I'm going to hand them coffee and put them to bed when they get here. Just until the road janglies wear off. Then we'll see. Hol was up at 4:30 making the first pot of java-magic.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: 2019 Farm Life
« Reply #134 on: June 16, 2019, 09:29:58 AM »
Pulled pork is comforting, and yummy.  Good choice.

Relax, and stay curious. 

Let us know how things are going.

Lighter