Just the same thing as always.
Today, my mother brought up a topic to me that I knew she didn't really give a rat's ass about.
Turned into an empty nagging power conversation, the kind of convo where there is just no way to 'win. By 'win' I mean there is no way to come out of the conversation without being belittled.
Either let her berate me or defend myself and then have her get angry for defending myself.
So it ended up in a shouting match like some stereotypical advertisement about alcoholics or something.
Same ol same ol. It's like dealing with a mindless zombie. She yammered on about her neighbors and long stories about them because that apparently is what is rolling around in her head. She barely makes eye contact with me and it's like I'm not even there so I don't pay attention to most of what she is saying. It's details about other people's lives that I barely know.
I swear if she was a recipe she would be 40% boxed wine, 45% television, and 15% monologue.
There is nothing to be done about it. I didn't really need a screaming match and yet doing 'gray rock' is also pretty fake too. Gray rock = emotionally dead. Belittled, screaming match or emotionally dead. I guess I picked screaming match, sure.. one screaming match to go please.
She sounds like an idiot always trying to give unsolicited 'advice' of the most obvious pointless type. She nags about it from some unrealistic view on the world. The view from her wine glass and TV. I just want to tell her to shut the F up.
I'm almost always anxious and stressed. Anything she has to say I've already thought about it likely 1,000 time over already.
words, words, words, words, empty and annoying somehow important and also utterly worthless
I'm going to stop thinking about it.
