Hey, all,
I may be new here, but have been posting on another board for 19 months, as well, regarding this subject. My mother is the N in the family.
I am the eldest of 3 girls. We grew up in the 50's/60's. I was (or so I thought) living a "Leave It To Beaver" life. Dad brought home the bacon, mom kept the house spotless, as well as us.
Mom was tough. But I just thought that was the way everyone lived. She was very critical and controlling of us. I had trouble in school, and was always held up to the wonderful grades my middle sister got, (later, AKA, the GC). Mom never tried to find out what my problems were, but always asked me "Why can't you get good grades, like your sister. In 4th and 5th grade, I had a teacher who, for some inexplicable reason, HATED me. For 1 1/2 years, she tortured me, calling me stupid in front of the class, causing the kids to laugh and tease me. I would go home, crying and begging my mother to do something. She put the blame squarely on my shoulders.
So, not only was I ridiculed at school, but also, at home. Constant criticism of how i wore my clothes, hair, my school work, friends. It was a systematic destruction of my self esteem.
Mom gave myself and my youngest sister, enemas on a regular basis. GC never got one. This, I hear from my therapist, is a form of sexual abuse. We would cry and beg her to stop, it was so painful, to no avail. Chores we were assigned to were always done over by mom, becasue, according to her, we never did them correctly. Then it would endless hours of lectures about how disappointed she was in us. There is so much more to tell. She literally destroyed my sense of worh, and it has taken me years to rebuild it. Thanks, Judy
