9
« Last post by Hopalong on Today at 11:38:53 AM »
When I think about these awful feelings (rage, resentment, loathing) about men lately, and then as you remind me, set them in the context of today's politics, they make perfect sense.
I'm afraid of the unleashed beast. And continue to love many good men, who don't spend all day searching for validation of their own anger and distress.
I keep thinking back to the primary lesson from the Hoffman research, in which they tracked couples for decades, interviewing and videoing their interactions over time. The finding that settles me most back to my own values when my toxic resentment stirs is that the Number One predictor of divorce is contempt. Things said, facial expressions, eye rolls, etc. Once contempt appears and sticks, we're divorcing. Take a cult, a golden calf, and poor education or low-quality information from isolated, bad-faith people either broadcasting or online who pot stir and add contempt...America is divorcing itself. Heartbreaking. But maybe we can turn aside in time...we have 400 days to steer sane.
Lighter, I watched a remarkable interview with Tia Levings and thought you would enjoy it. Tia is remarkably intelligent, understands deconstruction profoundly, and connects it all up in a way I found both exhilarating and comfortingly realistic. I particularly thought you'd like what she says about intuition and healing from trauma. A lot of it is Lighteresque.
Another I rambled onto is Monte Mader who you (and maybe Amber) really might like--who grew up running cattle on a 4000 acre Wyoming ranch and built a truly powerful, healthy sense of herself in the world.
The upside of the internet for me is these positive discoveries, and conversations like the ones we have on this board.
hugs
Hops
PS - Neither of these women TODAY is angry or fearful or anxious.
Recent Posts