Recent Posts

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by sKePTiKal on Today at 11:04:43 AM »

Page loads; and as long I go to my thread - I can reply. Not on Hippy's.

Hippy - would you share your email (and we'll return the favor) in messages? Just in case!

Amber

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on Today at 12:00:39 AM »

Also, in the book Mother Hunger she says people can wallow. Allowed to wallow. Shrug I don't know if it's good or not. I think not. It's better to be rich and live a few years doing hobbies before one dies.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on September 02, 2026, 12:01:21 PM »

In the book Mother Hunger something that did stand out to me was the whole concept of guidance. I mean it's straight forward but also it's invisible to the entire world. My mother never gave me guidance. She actively discouraged me from ever talking to her really about any issue. I mean that was the norm that I was trained to follow. It trains someone to be very isolated within themselves. My mother always acted like I was a burden or there was a problem with me if I needed any guidance and mainly she would revert to watching television and drinking. She really was a loser. I'm not a fan of how books and society default to the refrain "they did the best they could." Watching TV is not doing one's best.

The thing is a person doesn't really know there is an invisible gap of sorts. It's really quite a lot of deprivation in multiple ways.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on September 01, 2026, 10:24:59 PM »

While at library reading that book Mother Hunger which is mostly recycled self help ideas probably so the author can keep her business going, well next to it was this book: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. Today I thumbed through that one and it looks more interesting between the two books. I only looked quickly didn't get to read it all today. It seemed to push back against or challenge popularly held ideas pop culture ideas that have been widely accepted like the idea of codependency. I might read it. The book is written from the perspective that a person is in a relationship currently.  The verbiage is presented that way.

Reading these books makes me sad. I mean it makes me sad that patients are brought to believe that anxiety is just a condition of being a flawed person like a weakness. Based on what I am reading they've written things like how these children with issues related to attachment have higher cortisol etc etc.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on August 31, 2026, 10:46:33 PM »

I come to the board to vent a lot. Frustration with multiple things maybe and sometimes not even knowing how to name them. Sometimes the solution isn't obvious to me if there is even one.

This is not a frustration just an awkwardness. So a church lady texted me said "we miss you in church and hope to see you when bible study starts up."

The thing is there is a part of me that just wants to be honest and say you know what actually I tried it but I'm an atheist and also I even think the bible is offensive and out of date with current times especially for women.
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Timothy 2:13–14: "For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor"

1 Corinthians 14:34–35: "The women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church".

Deuteronomy 22:28–29: "If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife"
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I'm too old to care. I'm too old to be rebellious. But also I am too old to lie to myself maybe.
I really had intended to be an occasional fly on the wall.
Also I said it before. These people are old and retired and with more money than I have.
They really have nothing better to do.
See I feel kind of rude for delaying a response text 24 hours later.
But here is the other thing. THESE PEOPLE ALL HAVE FAMILIES AND ADULT CHILDREN why are not not pressuring their adult children to take up the slack or whatever.
Past couple weeks I just felt like withdrawing from social stuff for whatever reason. To regroup maybe. To reflect on the results of what I have been doing maybe? To redirect my energy in a different way maybe. Or just to follow the seasons of dormancy, slowing down and inwardness. Or all of the above.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on August 31, 2026, 10:31:31 PM »

Ai, yi. It shouldn't be so hard, Hippy. I'm sorry.
AI sez Mississippi, Oklahoma, and/or WVa are the cheapest states to live in.

I feel for you and understand why it can drive you to massive frustration. Is there any public program you might qualify for that you haven't applied to? Housing and/or food benefits? Our area has subsidized transportation for seniors.

hugs
Hops

Was just complaining Hops. Venting. Not sure that I am going anywhere constructive with it. I just detest the city always thought people who have the choice would not be there.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on August 31, 2026, 10:27:34 PM »

Yay the board came up.

Am reading the book titled Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel.

Most of it looks like not new ideas.

If I am trying to be positive I might say that she makes a distinction that attachment disorder should be called an attachment injury. Maybe there is utility in this. Really it also seems like she is doing minor semantics so she can publish a book with rehashed comment. Am I mean or rude or negative. Maybe. Or maybe lots of books really are underwhelming.

Does not seem groundbreaking to me. Do I need to hear it again MAYBE. 

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on August 28, 2026, 01:41:59 PM »

Ai, yi. It shouldn't be so hard, Hippy. I'm sorry.
AI sez Mississippi, Oklahoma, and/or WVa are the cheapest states to live in.

I feel for you and understand why it can drive you to massive frustration. Is there any public program you might qualify for that you haven't applied to? Housing and/or food benefits? Our area has subsidized transportation for seniors.

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on August 27, 2026, 05:26:27 PM »

I've been in a foul mood. I'm irritable. The truth is I could complain about almost everything daily.

Today I submitted an email to the city about some graffiti vandalism stuff on public property. It's got some racial slurs and then it just builds up more of the same layer over layer over layer. It's not important. It's a petty annoyance. Everything is a petty annoyance.

I am foul I know I am but also it seems like everything is more expensive, more dirty, more unprofessional. I hate the city I hate it so much I wish we would get nuked. I feel nihilistic but also is there any affordable state anywhere. I swear I should just move. I'm single I have one income and it's a low income and the rent is really twice as much in the last 10 years but my pay rate didn't double at all. I don't look forward to the next ten years period.

I need to make a reasonable to do list for myself whether or not I want to do it.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2026

« Last post by sKePTiKal on August 26, 2026, 09:36:04 AM »

There has been enough "seepage" - not a complete breach - to scare all the silage out of me. I lit up my contact at the bank, while it was all "ongoing" over the phone. Usually I just hang up on those fools... but I let him talk enough, to find out he HAD access to my username for the bank's web access (no, I refuse to use apps just for this exact reason).

So, I've already put additional security in place; it was rather urgent. I'm continuing to closely monitor.

There are few more things I'm still considering I will maybe do... but it does make life more complicated.

The main issue emotionally, is that one ASSUMES all these businesses, institutions at least make the attempt to protect people's online ID, personal info. And it's a huge wake up call to me, that I can't trust them. The betrayal feels like I'm on fire. And it's just salt in the wound, to get the "I told ya so" from Hol. She bought C's mantra about how bad all this tech is, hook line & sinker. But she doesn't see that he is part of the problem - developing software with AI agents.

There are much more interesting things, to me, to spend my time/thought processes on than tech. And the old resentment of it "ruling my life" pops up again too. Add that on top of the business and normal life drama... and that kind of overwhelm sends me into tailspins of wanting to escape ALL this crap.

But it is starting to balance out. A little.