Tupp:
There are degrees to breaking down, and understanding what happened later on, IME.
Having a way to chart our days,
maybe gage physical pain from 1-10
dread 1-10
fear 1-10
happiness 1-10
Something we can get in a glance.
A place for notes.... "hired sketchy tree guys bc they knocked on the door. and looking up sent me into panic mode..... right before going out of the country, leaving a huge mess in the yard I still haven't dealt with...." that kind of thing. I honestly feel this is such an out of character move for me... it's like shaving my head. It's like trees exploded all over the moss. There's holes that are 2 feet deep, and moss dragged into the leaves, and huge divets, and ruts.... oh my. I have to get up all the saw dust. I'm honestly shocked at that decision. I HAVE TREES I NEED TO MOVE BY SECTIONS, and no idea where I'll move them.
You know what.... like your hair, I know the situation will resolve, so no use worrying about it. We do what we can, then let go of the outcome.
I've said that. Given that advice. Taken that advice, but this is the first time I've understood that advice, and know why it's a better strategy than the anxiety/racing mind syndrome of anticipating problems, which is really hard to live with, IME. It's also my main coping strategy, if I'm being honest. Having one week of consistently NOT doing that has changed how I see my life, and world.
It's a longer respite, and it helps things stick, IME.
Having little moments, here and there, was all I could manage before, and it likely kept me from going over many edges, or at least brought me back, which is a lot when we're stuggling, IME.
I want something better.
I want to be OK most of the time, and not suffer more than once over the things I have on my plate.
If I have a problem, I look at my resources, healthy boundaries, logical consequences, list the things I have to do in order to get the best possible outcome, DO what I can (with compassion, and the calm tapping and breathing can help bring) then release the outcome, and KNOW there's nothing else I could do to bring about a better outcome.
Wishing and worrying doesn't change anything, so I'm ready to let them go in the name of more peace in my life.
Drat, this is your thread. I didn't mean to post so long on your thread. Sorry, (((Tupp)))
::straightening Tupp's hat::
We're going to be OK: )
Lighter