Author Topic: "Declarations of a Healthy Adult"  (Read 7019 times)

dandylife

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 499
"Declarations of a Healthy Adult"
« on: February 17, 2008, 05:40:54 PM »
This is from How to Be an Adult by David Richo. I can't tell you how many golden nuggets I got from this book! I'm still going back and re-reading and going wow! yeah, that's right! Anyway, here's a small excerpt of what it might look like to encounter a "Healthy Adult":

Declarations of a Healthy Adulthood

I accept full responsibility for the shape my life has taken.

I need never fear my own truth, powers, fantasies wishes, thoughts, sexuality, dreams, or ghosts.

I trust that “darkness and upheaval always precede an expansion of consciousness”. (Jung)

I let people go away or stay and am still okay.

I accept that I may never feel I am receiving – or have received – all the attention I seek.

I acknowledge that reality is not obligated to me; it remains unaffected by my wishes or rights.

One by one, I drop every expectation of people and things.

I reconcile myself to the limits on others’ giving to me and on my giving to them.

Until I see another’s behavior with compassion, I have not understood it.

I let go of blame, regret, vengeance, and the infantile desire to punish those who hurt or reject me.

When change and growth scare me, I still choose them. I may act with fear, but never because of it.

I am still safe when I cease following the rules my parents (or others) set for me.

I cherish my own integrity and do not use it as a yardstick for anyone else’s behavior.

I am free to have and entertain any thought. I do not have the right to do whatever I want. I respect the limits of freedom and still act freely.

I overcome the urge to retreat on the brink of discovery.

No one can or needs to bail me out. I am not entitled to be taken care of by anyone or anything.

I give without demanding appreciation though I may always ask for it.

I reject whining and complaining as useless distractions from direct action on or withdrawal from unacceptable situations.

I let go of control without losing control.

Choices and perceptions in my life are flexible, not rigid or absolute.

If people knew me as I really am, they would love me for being human like them.

I drop poses and let my every word and deed reveal what I am really like.

Changes and transitions are more graceful as I cooperate with them.

Every human power is accessible to me.

I live by personal standards and at the same time – in self-forgiveness – I make allowances for my occasional lapses.

I grant myself a margin of error in my work and relationships. I release myself from the pain of having to be right or competent all the time.

I accept that it is normal to feel that I do not always measure up.

I am ultimately adequate to any challenge that comes to me.

My self-acceptance is not complacency since in itself it represents an enormous change.

I am happy as I do what I love and love what is.

Wholehearted engagement with my circumstances releases my irrepressible liveliness.

I love unconditionally and set sane conditions on my self giving.


This is definitely on my list of 10 best books ever.
Dandylife
« Last Edit: February 17, 2008, 05:53:10 PM by dandylife »
"All things not at peace will cry out." Han Yun

"He who angers you conquers you." - Elizabeth Kenny

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11451
Re: "Declarations of a Healthy Adult"
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2008, 08:49:15 PM »
Dandy, thank you. What a wonderful, liberating list.

I love this one:

Quote
I overcome the urge to retreat on the brink of discovery.

love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Certain Hope

  • Guest
Re: "Declarations of a Healthy Adult"
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2008, 03:57:32 PM »
Hi, Dandylife,

This really does sound like a great book. Seems like I read bits of it - or one with a similar title - some time ago, from a google book preview, and was quite impressed. This is definitely all the stuff I ever needed to know but have had to pick up in bits and pieces, longgg after the optimal time!

My favorites of the moment are:

I accept that it is normal to feel that I do not always measure up.

Choices and perceptions in my life are flexible, not rigid or absolute.

One by one, I drop every expectation of people and things.


And especially:  I overcome the urge to retreat on the brink of discovery.

Thank you!

Carolyn