Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

NM is over 100 now and counting

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sKePTiKal:
So, my "smart-ass" woke up this morning....

Maybe it takes a village to contain, restrain, and mollify an NM... and that's why the job was always more than we could handle!  :D

Redhead Erin:
A Village?  They could have 3 major metropolitan areas doing their bidding, and it still woudl not be enough!

Baddaughter:
OMG!  I feel for you, Bettyanne!  My mom drove me absolutely bats#@t until her passing two years ago.  But I had not spoken to her or father for about a year at the time and was excluded from everything.  She only lived to be 77 and I am sure that if I had persisted in my efforts to fight with folks and get her care, etc, she would still be with us.  So I have the feeling that her life was foreshortened by her narcissism, because in the end, she preferred to die rather than join the real world and live by the boundaries of anyone else.  It is hard, because of default, I abdicated my duty and left her die.  Dad died within the year and he hadn't spoken to me either as I was excluded from family altogether after she passed.  It has been peaceful if a little painful.  I am seeing someone for grief and anger and stress reaction to it all.  Needless to say, I was disowned as well and Golden Child has taken it all.  Yum.  But in your case, you only need to bide your time a while longer -- some daughter that can keep her mother "with her" (ah hem) so long.  You must have done a fine job of daughtering and a lot of daughtering it takes too -- because I know.  And it was a job I accepted willingly and lovingly for almost 50 years, the emotional and personal toll notwithstanding.  Just surviving such a long tyranny on your part represents incredible resilience and stamina.  You said she has willing folks to do these things for her and I am very glad because that should lessen your guilt, not increase it.    I am sorry about the phone calls.  I saved my mom's last horrible message for quite a while but it was a work voicemail and lost it when I changed jobs.  It was the Real Her and it still haunts me.  If there is a right answer to that one, I've never read it here.  But only answering when I was "up" to it if possible helped some.  It never paid to answer if there was already upheaval -- better to get message and call back.  It brings tears to my eyes to think of having to "deal" with THAT for another 23 years.  I don't know how you have done it.  Whatever happens, you should be able to plead insanity.  Your vent helped me to count my blessings.  Thanks.

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