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Overcomer:
Some good points.  He gets anxious if he has to:

1.  Have anyone over at the house
2.  Go to the doctor
3.  Serve communion
4.  Take the dogs to the vet

He likes for me to go with him to the store.  I am on a roll doing whatever and he wants me to stop what I am doing and go with him.

He has NO idea about romance.  His way of letting me know he wants sex is, "Ya wanna do it?"  Show me his stuff.  Or walk in and raise his eyebrows a few times.  "Oh, I've been swept off my feet!"  I told him, try candles or doing something sweet.  So he comes in, raises his eyebrows, goes over to the candle and ceremoniously lights it.

It's just the ten years of Size 14 shoe talk, and size 38X36 pant talk, and what setting on the clipper to cut his hair.  It's the "shave off the go tee when he's had too much to drink"  ritual.

It's the knowing I am not supposed to touch cat litter when I am on chemo, but have to do it anyway because he won't do it thing.

It's the grabbing the garbage out of my hands when I have already walked all the way out the garage with it and am one foot from the trash can.  There, he emptied the garbage.

It's the not helping bring in the groceries but if he does he (again) takes them out of my hands after I am already in the kitchen.

I don't know, he is always a day late and a dollar short and he's also extremely boring and repetitive.  It irks me.

lighter:
Overcomer:

He sounds like he'd fall somewhere on the autism spectrum to me.

Lighter

SilverLining:
I feel for you OC.  The list of Aspergerish behaviors keeps getting longer.   Somewhere along the line I read a comment that AS is the typical male personality taken to an extreme.   My grandfather, father, and brother all fit the profile to some extent.  There's very little recognition or validation of anybody outside themselves.  All they do is spin around in their own little "reality".  It might be more tolerable if it wasn't so dismissive of others.  They believe themselves superior to everybody else, maybe as compensation for feelings of inferiority.   Much of their interpersonal behavior seems to be a continuing attempt to prop up this self image.  

And growing up in a household with them drove me nuts.  At age 50 I feel like I'm still dealing with the effects of that environment.  

I suppose the question comes down to what you can live with.  Whether or not the H qualifies as officially having AS, the annoying behaviors probably aren't going away.  

sKePTiKal:

--- Quote --- Whether or not the H qualifies as officially having AS, the annoying behaviors probably aren't going away. 
--- End quote ---

S'truth! SL, what you say about AS being the extreme male personality... is kinda scary...

Kelly: I know what you mean about hubs' behavior being annoying and irksome. I'm gonna guess he doesn't realize how you perceive him. I've gone through something like this (repeatedly) with my hubs. At one point I realized I was part of the problem (may not apply to you) in that I wasn't communicating my feeling of "needing to be taken care" and expectation that he would obviously know this, from my increasing levels of agitation, withdrawal inwards, or rising anger and tendency to hurt myself.

Recognizing that I was trying to tell him all this "in code"... the old FOO code (which of course always failed my attempts to have my needs recognized)... I started to see the things that he does that irritated me, a little differently. He's trying to tell me (in his FOO language/code) that he needs "taken care of"... reassurance... support... whatever.

So, knowing sometimes I'm non-verbal (and comfortably so), I started playing around and making hand signals. It started out with "nibblies" - a signal that I was going to get a snack. Then, there was one for "snugglies"... and insanely, you have to look close because the 2 signals are very similar. But it's our own little private bubble of signals... he's got some for me, too...

and it seems to be helping alleviate a lot of the mis - or non-communication... and opening up a better space for us to co-exist in.

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