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Fifty Shades of ????

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sKePTiKal:
Hmmm. I pushed the wrong key and have to start over.

Is anyone else reading Fifty Shades of Grey? I'm sure everyone's heard about the sex angle of the books, or is aware of it. I assured myself that there was at least SOME plot before I committed to reading. I'm hooked.   :oops:

To say it has a lot of sex in it is the understatement of the century - and I do not mean gothic romance. I do not know how a male author could write some of these descriptions; if indeed the author is male. I imagined it being rated XXX as a movie and then reassured myself that Hollywood simply couldn't do it justice or find a way to fig-leaf those parts, yet still tell the story. When looking to find out the author's gender I found that they are indeed contemplating a movie.

But - and this might be a less common reading of the book - sex is beside the point of the book. Sure there's a lot of it, and I find it's beginning to be tedious as a literary device, now that I'm on the second book of the series. What is absolutely fascinating to me, and has me devouring page after page, are the psychological back-stories of the main characters as they form a relationship. This is Ana's first serious relationship and she's head over heels.  The email banter between Grey & Ana has me laughing out loud a lot, in recognition of my own relationship. The power-struggle between the two; the "see-saw" of connectedness/autonomy involved; their difficulties learning to communicate and understand each other and of course, Christian Grey's very neglected and abused childhood experiences and "self". The descriptions of what is "controlling"... the minefield of trying to establish boundaries... and each other's primal needs for unconditional love versus maintaining individual selves and allowing those selves to evolve and grow. He has all the classic attachment issues that we've talked about periodically, here. Initially, he seems quite N - a lot like my ex#2 - and then we start to get glimpses of his "inside" self and past.

OY! It's like a primer for transforming and overcoming dysfunctional interpersonal patterns. I certainly didn't expect that, especially after the initial raw, steamy sex scenes. I thought it was going to be a thinly plotted, trashy novel. It's waaaay more than that. At least for me, it's teaching me a lot... and bringing up lots of questions to work with, myself.

I just wondered if anyone else had ventured into this and had the same reaction.

Meh:
 :D Heard it through the grapevine that this series is the next "it" thing. Haven't read it though.

An old Irish room-mate of mine said "Americans are obsessed with sex".

I was embarrassed to read a couple of Nora Roberts books from the Bride Trilogy. I enjoyed the first one and then couldn't get through the last one. The upside is that I now appreciate every single wedding dress-in the window that I pass by. Before I read the books I just couldn't understand what the big deal was with wedding dresses.

I guess characters in books can be models of behaviors or archetypes etc.

sKePTiKal:
The book even mentions this process of "seeing oneself in literary characters"... what I shorthand to call "identification". And some of that is recognition of archetypes or patterns. It's way easier to see those subtle things that "go wrong" between people in others than ourselves, I think. I know a little something first-hand about dysfunctional romantic relationships... so I'm getting lots of glimpses of my own past experiences jumping out of the book...
 
you know how you wind up wondering: how did I get here? what did I do - when - how - to get here? Is there ANY way to fix it? in relationships, that is.

what's kind of interesting, is that I'm also seeing doors of options... alternative choices... and even walking through some of those, In Real Life. Honestly, I'm finding myself constantly going back & forth... relating first to Christian and his mom-issues - some of the effects of that; then Ana... and her low self-esteem. Yet I can't seem to drag myself away from the story - and almost lost the battery in my kindle, because I wanted to finish the scene of her meeting with Christian's T. It's kinda like I'm hoping there's a big "moral to the story" or denouement and I'm really anxious to get there, so I can start processing "what I think of the book". Or looking for a big personal AHA moment...

I generally don't like to form an opinion while still reading - but this is certainly an exception.

Meh:
Page turners are always fun. Alternative choices?

Do you think the author wrote this story about herself? It is a she I just googled it.

sKePTiKal:
Good question - it's hard to say if she simply did research or if it's written from personal experience. I've managed to get into book 3 now (in a little over a week and still pretty busy in 3-D) and I will say that there are no "slow" parts. WSJ had an article about what they call "fan literature" - fans of certain things like Harry Potter or Twilight try to write their one themselves. This author started out emulating the Twilight series, which I'm perversely proud to say never has interested me and I've been able to avoid it. Each to his own - and I've already done the vampire thing with "Dark Shadows".

But the psychological plots in Fifty Shades? Now, I got to think that's written from personal experience -- either she KNOWS and is "one of us" -- or she had a relationship with someone who's suffered that much.

My fascination is 100% on the successful "getting past it" that's going on... and trying to nail down just what that entails. Another thing I really like is the description of Ana's thought-processes. She has an inner goddess and a very judgemental prudish subconscious; victorian even. Conversations between the 3 centers of Self are pretty interesting and funny, too. I think I'm missing the inner goddess who is queen of her whole domain and revels in being adored. Either that, or she's been asleep for a long time. On vacation or extended assignment or something. Noticeably absent. And I certainly recognize some of the same kinds of communication issues I've had with hubby over the years -- and to some extent still have -- in how Christian and Ana have completely different frames of reference -- and mis-perceive each other and the other's intention/meaning of words as a result.

It's very revealing - and useful to me - to read the same kinds of things going on in these characters. The Alternate Choices I see in 3-D, have been informed by "knowing" while reading - how and where Ana and Christian have stopped communicating directly and started sliding past each other. When I'm talking to hubby and we're having another repetition of a certain kind of conversation that goes nowhere except the same old same old... I can use my "observing ego" to step just to the side - recognize the pattern - and say something that's more communicative of what I really feel/think... instead of just doing the same old same old.

I've halfway decided I might even re-read the whole trilogy again, after finishing book 3. Last book I reacted to like that, was Lord of the Rings... as a young teenager. There is just SO much detail, I want to verify that I read it correctly. But it's possible I'll get to the end of it, and be very disappointed. That might be OK and I might still reread it. Jury's still out on that! LOL...

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