Bit of an update

[Twoapenny]

Hi all,

I just thought I'd post and keep people up to date with a few things.  As some of you know, one of the most unpleasant things my mother did was spend several years making false accusations against me, claiming that my son's health problems were a result of my neglect and emotional abuse of him.  It was very difficult to deal with and rather like dealing with an invisible enemy; a lot of the things she did I didn't find out about until years after she did it and slowly lots of confusion regarding my son and the way he's been (mis)treated by the state system made a lot more sense.

I've been going through our old records for the last five years now, getting things corrected and making complaints where necessary.  Various bits and pieces over time didn't make sense and, to cut a long story sideways, it seems there may have been some mistakes made during the birth that may have caused a brain injury in my son and there's a weeny possibility that someone knew about this and tried to cover it up.  It's all a bit circumstantial at the minute and nothing is definite but I am gathering paperwork together and solicitors are involved.  I think my main interest now is the truth, regardless of how good or bad it might be.  Stressful but positive at the same time, so I will keep you all posted.  Thanks for being there and thanks for listening,

Love Tup xx

[sKePTiKal]

ah, hon... how old is he now?

[BonesMS]

(((((((((((((((((((((Tup)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[lighter]

Tupp:

I think having the finding the truth, owning it and making peace with it is part of healing, or can be.

How are things going for you and your son right now?

Still loving your apartment?  How's the school?

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Not to mention collecting on malpractice, which it may be if a medical facility tried to cover it up.

So glad you are approaching it legally...

Hops

[JustKathy]

Oh Tup, I'm so sorry for all of this. I wish there was something I could say right now to make you feel better, but I'm finding myself at a loss for words. Just know that I'm thinking of you, and wishing all the best for both you and your son. Wishing you strength.

Kathy

[Twoapenny]

Hi all,

Thanks for all your messages; it's so funny how you all understand when some of my friends have said "Oh!" and not really said any more!

Do you know what, we're good.  My boy is ten, he's doing so well.  He's got the loveliest personality, he's so kind and funny, people like him, he's just very easy to warm to.  I teach him at home and his reading and writing are really coming on now, socially he's doing much better and he's really getting into some of his activities, particularly sailing, gymnastics and swimming.  I am so proud of him and so HAPPY MY FAMILY DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO F##K HIM UP!  We are happy as we are, life is good for us now.  We've both been through a lot over the last decade but we've learnt a lot and I've let a lot of stuff go.  This feels good.  It feels good to have someone professional acting on my (our) behalf.  It was very uplifiting to have someone validate our situation.  My mental health has been blamed for lots of things.  I've never agreed, but it's difficult when you've had mental health problems, some people see it as a weak spot and exploit it.  Whatever happens next, I feel like I am getting it right, you know?  I'm talking to the right people, dealing with it as it comes up, my son is blissfully unaware which is great - I had the weight of the world on my shoulders when I was his age and I'm really happy that his focus is on being a kid, nothing else.  I was a bit tearful when the sol told me some of the stuff that he's concerned about but that's okay, who wouldn't be?  See, I'm getting good at talking to myself the right way, lol.

Will keep you all up to date with what is going on (although I'm told it's a very slow process and everything takes months!).  Thank you for being there.

Tup xxx

[lighter]

So glad to read you're homeschooling happily.  I keep thinking about going that route, at least for a while, Tupp.

You sound so good..... so on track, and pleased with your progress.

It's nice to recognize better coping strategies, and even nicer to notice yourself employing them!

Hugs to you and your ds.

Lighter

[BonesMS]

((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Thank you, Bonesie ((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks Lighter.  Home ed has been a real life changer for us.  As he's getting older I'm just happier and happier that I pulled him out and kept him out.  I think it's unlikely now that he'll go back - he's just getting on so well and he's so much more sociable and confident than he used to be.  It's really lovely.

I got the paperwork from the sol today and it's even worse than I thought!  I've only skimmed through it quickly, will read it through properly later, but my God.  When did so many people abandon their ethics?  If you work with pregnant ladies and tiny babies how can you sleep peacefully at night knowing you f**ked up and not even bother to let the mum know?  If I'd realised what a mess they'd made of it I'd have sorted all of this out years ago.  They told me he needed a tiny bit of air and he was fine - not true!  Good job I've had so much to deal with from my mum over the years - at least it's made me tough enough to deal with stuff like this!  Lol

[Redhead Erin]

YEA for home schooling!  Welcome to the slow lane!

I am happy to hear things are getting straightened out for you.  Hope all continues to go well.

[Twoapenny]

Hi everyone,

Just to give you a bit of an update on the situation re my son and possible legal action against the hospital:

Solicitor has been beavering away and has sent me a load of forms to sign giving my consent for records to be released to him.  Over the next few weeks legal documents will be landing on the desks of some quite disgusting people who helped my mum wage her campaign of abuse against me and my boy by failing to follow procedure and in some cases blatantly lying in order to help her do me over.  I have worked very hard over the years to get myself to a place where I didn't need revenge or retribution to get on with my life.  It was hard but I felt like I had got there; I think sometimes you do just have to accept that someone who did something awful is going to get away with it and that was how I felt.  I'd pretty much made my peace with that.  So even though I feel I have got past the point where I want or need justice or punishment for those involved, I cannot deny that a rather large smile crossed my face when I thought of certain people being made aware that legal action is in the air and that their involvement is going to be scrutinised.  I have to admit I rather like the idea of some of them feeling anxious for a while. I would like to be able to say I have some sort of Zen like quality about me now that means the sort of someone else being uncomfortable gives me no satisfaction but I'm not quite there yet.    Will keep you posted.

Erin, I'm really sorry I didn't see your post at the end of the thread, thank you and yes, home ed is fab

[lighter]

Tupp:

Those people in positions of authority who sabotaged you and your son should have to worry their egregious actions FINALLY being scrutinized.

It's karma coming home to roost; )
Yes.

Light

[BonesMS]

Tupp:

Those people in positions of authority who sabotaged you and your son should have to worry their egregious actions FINALLY being scrutinized.

It's karma coming home to roost; )
Yes.

Light

I've often heard it said that "Karma's a bitch and paybacks are hell!"  When Karma gets them, it's a DOOZY!

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Yep, karma seems to be a good egg   I'm trying not to feel too smug.  We're just beginning, there are no definites, it could all come to nothing.  But the thought of some of them experiencing a little bit of anxiety over this is still making me smile.  I'm also very glad now I've spent so much time getting copies of records and writing things down, it will be interesting to see if what they send the sol is different to what they've sent me