Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

falling out of the middle class

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BonesMS:
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

JustKathy:
Oh Hops, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Even though you weren't close friends, it's impossible to not be deeply affected by something like this.

I have to echo the others in saying that this probably would not have happened if not for the alcoholism. Our problems always look worse behind a bottle, and our coping mechanisms becomes nonexistent (or drinking becomes the coping mechanism). I know several people who are on hard times, myself included, but a rational mind thinks about the positive, especially when there are family members who love you and need you. I have a good friend who just left her abusive husband, and is living on bread and water, in an elderly neighbour's basement, but she gets up every morning and does whatever she can to go on because she has a nine-year-old son who needs her. If alcohol were added to the mix, you can bet her story would be a different one.

If there's a lesson here for those of us who suffer at the hands of our N parents, it's to seek support and help from friends, even online friends, like we have here. Once someone has turned to drugs and and/or alcohol, there's little chance of a positive outcome. The money spent on alcohol could have been spent on therapy. Easy to say, but once your mind goes to that other place, things are done that can't ever be undone.  :cry:

Hopalong:
So honestly stated, Kathy.

Church is going to do a quiet gathering where folks can share their stories
of her, and also talk about how they are reacting to this particular loss.

I am glad they're doing that, I'll be there.

I'm okay about it personally but it's been causing a lot of reflecting.
The article in Salon.com called "Someone To Hold Me" was pretty amazing to read that same day.

love,
Hops

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