Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Don't know what to call this
BonesMS:
I thought I was the only one who tends to withdraw into a "shell" after being around people too much. When I become "peopled-out", I want to escape and hide somewhere. I've learned that, for me, it is considered an Aspie trait and nothing to be ashamed of because when I have to socialize, my "batteries" get depleted and I have to have "alone time" somewhere to "recharge my batteries".
I hope that makes sense.
Bones
sKePTiKal:
It most definitely does, Bones - it makes lots of sense to me.
It's not just an aspie trait, though. It appears there's a few of us - at least - who need to do this. And maybe all people do -- there's that matter of degree of need, you know? And "aspies" are still "people"... not really that different from everyone else.
lighter:
((((Amber))))
Light
Redhead Erin:
I don't think it has anything to d with being aspie. I am introverted, not aspie, and I require huge amounts of downtime every day. I will give up sleep to have my downtime. I think it is just the way some people are wired.
KayZee:
(((P.R.))),
I relate to this a lot. Ditto, Bones and Erin. And I find myself worrying about it sometimes, fearing that needing time alone means I'm N like my NM. Some little voice in my head says, well, isn't that a very N thing to do? Withdraw into yourself like a turtle into your shell?. I think (or at least I hope) it isn't.
For me, it feels like a trauma thing. Large groups of people, at least to me, still = scapegoating. My NM is most brutal to me when she's got the backing of my dad and sister, and she likes to go after me during parties and holidays (I think they make her feel ignored and out of control) so she goes hunting for someone to trap, frighten and control. The association feels set. Even family-less parties send me into a tizzy of anxiety. I feel myself totally shutting down, going blank, I can't think of a thing to talk about, I just want to be home alone with a book or a project. I feel the same way in large crowds of strangers--like a trapped animal. When I was a kid, I used to actually faint in crowded subway cars and such.
Also maybe some of it is just overstimulation? Like, as a kid, my survival depended on being totally attuned to the people around me, especially NM. Even as an adult, I'm a little too sensitive to other people's emotionally states. I can feel other people's feelings more easily than I can tap into my own. So in a group, it's just like too much. Too many inflections, too many subtleties, too many ways to say or do the wrong thing. I get bogged down. My system gets overloaded. I feel like I'm being devoured.
I'm fearful, truly fearful, of people unless I'm one on one with them and I've known them for ages. And I don't quite know how to go about changing that or if I should bother. After all, most of the time I don't feel super lonely, I just feel like a freak. I feel like I should be more social. Society says that's good, that no one trusts the quiet one. But demanding that I be more outgoing just feels like I'm beating on my inner child the same way NM used to (she hated that I was tentative in public, wanted me to assume this false identity and put it away the second we got back home, go back to be a little ghost child). Agh, anyway. Sorry for the tangent. Definitely hits home with me.
lots of love to you all, Kay x
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version