Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Update from.....Izzy
Izzy_*now*:
Hello All again,
Insomnia to boot---2:49 a.m. June 1
Nothing is very exciting in my life now. Nothing makes me jump up and down for happy or makes me cry for sad, because my emotions left me long ago and all I am left with in that regard is to follow the gals on the
http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=10280.0 thread who express themselves far better than I can.
All I am doing is crocheting a pair of slippers so my feet will match when I go out to the Wound Clinic.
Out of 7 days a week, I spend the 5 work days (as normally known) Mon & Thurs going to Wound Care Clinic. I am home the other three for one with Ellen and Housework, etc. and two with Kara and Therapy. The weekends are for me alone to do nothing until my new w’chair arrives in town. Everyone makes mistakes so I won’t call out the salesman, who receives a commission from my buying from him, while taking him at his word, only to find out he is a typical salesman and his 3 weeks has turned into 5 weeks and counting!
The seven wounds are now classified as three, as four can be dealt with and covered with the same Misorb (a pad that collects drainage.) The others are the heel and the knee = THREE Misorb pads. I see good shrinkage in 2/7 , but I also see a nasty knee that I thought was only superficial, and it was the first, but eating deeper into my skin, while I hope it won’t reach the bone. (If I dared, I would pull off the ’scab’ in case it is holding in bacteria, but no nurse will Usually they want the top to soften and drop before this, but not this sore.)
Now that it’s June, it is just a year ago that my arms began to bother me and I hired Ellen, then more crap, and now may arms are bothering me again so I am seldom out of the apartment----but that makes no never mind to the wheelchair business, not even when I told the salesman I didn’t require a “prescription chair”, that I knew what I needed after 45 years. Nevertheless the production end was awaiting a prescription from him, for 2 weeks, re the seating on the chair. No point in screaming, when 2 weeks past the delivery date, I learn the reason for delay, and ask the salesman if he never knew that some chairs are bought without a prescription?----after all I went there, ordered what I wanted and paid for it! (A prescription chair require an Occupational Therapist to accompany a client and state what is needed and lets the business know who is paying!)
This past Wednesday I began to have dizzy spells, a slight feeling of nauseas, and that Thump of Anxiety in my gut, but my 5 week days are filled and I need a doctor, a dentist and an eye specialist. Now I need the battery chair to get me to them or the strength to wheel manually with painful arms to get there: i.e. people do more than one thing in a day, but at my age, I am lucky to wake up.
There is always a first time to be ineffective!
Thank Heaven that Ellen and Karla are great gals, and that every Wound Care nurse thinks I am a comical 55 year old and enjoys my company each time.
Happy Days, everyone
XX
Izzy
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Izzy_*now* on June 01, 2014, 05:57:45 AM ---Hello All again,
Insomnia to boot---2:49 a.m. June 1
Nothing is very exciting in my life now. Nothing makes me jump up and down for happy or makes me cry for sad, because my emotions left me long ago and all I am left with in that regard is to follow the gals on the
http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=10280.0 thread who express themselves far better than I can.
All I am doing is crocheting a pair of slippers so my feet will match when I go out to the Wound Clinic.
Out of 7 days a week, I spend the 5 work days (as normally known) Mon & Thurs going to Wound Care Clinic. I am home the other three for one with Ellen and Housework, etc. and two with Kara and Therapy. The weekends are for me alone to do nothing until my new w’chair arrives in town. Everyone makes mistakes so I won’t call out the salesman, who receives a commission from my buying from him, while taking him at his word, only to find out he is a typical salesman and his 3 weeks has turned into 5 weeks and counting!
The seven wounds are now classified as three, as four can be dealt with and covered with the same Misorb (a pad that collects drainage.) The others are the heel and the knee = THREE Misorb pads. I see good shrinkage in 2/7 , but I also see a nasty knee that I thought was only superficial, and it was the first, but eating deeper into my skin, while I hope it won’t reach the bone. (If I dared, I would pull off the ’scab’ in case it is holding in bacteria, but no nurse will Usually they want the top to soften and drop before this, but not this sore.)
Now that it’s June, it is just a year ago that my arms began to bother me and I hired Ellen, then more crap, and now may arms are bothering me again so I am seldom out of the apartment----but that makes no never mind to the wheelchair business, not even when I told the salesman I didn’t require a “prescription chair”, that I knew what I needed after 45 years. Nevertheless the production end was awaiting a prescription from him, for 2 weeks, re the seating on the chair. No point in screaming, when 2 weeks past the delivery date, I learn the reason for delay, and ask the salesman if he never knew that some chairs are bought without a prescription?----after all I went there, ordered what I wanted and paid for it! (A prescription chair require an Occupational Therapist to accompany a client and state what is needed and lets the business know who is paying!)
This past Wednesday I began to have dizzy spells, a slight feeling of nauseas, and that Thump of Anxiety in my gut, but my 5 week days are filled and I need a doctor, a dentist and an eye specialist. Now I need the battery chair to get me to them or the strength to wheel manually with painful arms to get there: i.e. people do more than one thing in a day, but at my age, I am lucky to wake up.
There is always a first time to be ineffective!
Thank Heaven that Ellen and Karla are great gals, and that every Wound Care nurse thinks I am a comical 55 year old and enjoys my company each time.
Happy Days, everyone
XX
Izzy
--- End quote ---
Iz your spirit amazes me. I hope those wounds continue to heal and that your wheelchair arrives soon! Glad that you have Ellen and Karla there for you. Hope you get some sleep! And good luck with the crotchet, not something I've ever been able to manage! xx
Hopalong:
Izz, Izz...
Does music help?
What about movies?
Can you find stuff so great you get swept away?
(I am a master, or mistress, of escape...)
Currently watching on Netflix a series called Longmire, set in Wyoming.
For some reason I am captivated.
You deserve to be captivated by something other than pain.
love to you,
Hops
lighter:
Ahhhh, Izzy:
You are funny, and sharp, and ironic.
You enjoy interacting, and understand when people are enjoying you.
You can enjoy them.
How can you make more connections that feel......
better?
I miss your stories.
You used to get out to the store and talk about this guy and that guy, and the banter, and their opinions, and.....
I just miss that.
For you, and from you.
Lighter
Izzy_*now*:
Hi everyone,
The Community Ambulatory Care clinic first came here, beginning January 29, 2 days out of Cottonwoods, as it was winter and cold, and I was still not healed and in the brace....and now I'm still attending there, with my taxi fare paid.
Out of seven sores I have two 'worser' ones to be healed and that could be a while.
On June 2, I called for an ambulance as I was gasping (slowly?) for breath....and dizzy, thought it was my heart. They came and put me on oxygen, then to the hospital for 2 nights and 3 days. I had a 4 hour gasping for breath attack the second night then it calmed down. I had 4 types of IV antibiotics and was given an Rx for oral antibiotics, and pretty well cleared up. Was told it was pneumonia. Was it?
Now I am still short of breath and still dizzy (dizzy...so what else is new, rhymes with Izzy). It puffs me out to propel this chair and after nag, nag, nagging, then finally seeing the salesman today, I am told that my battery chair will be in this weekend. I had to stay away from him personally or I would have been swearing! At least using the computer is not breathtaking.
From Early Trauma thread
--- Quote --- from Dr. Grossman
Quote
There is something crucial missing in your life, and that is an attachment to a loving, caring, empathic person. Without that attachment and the brain wiring that goes with it, all of your shame, pain, humiliation, “unlovability”, etc. will be lived over and over and over again in your life because it is the only wiring that exists. Many would disagree with me about this, but I think producing new attachment “wiring” is more important
--- End quote ---
When I read this, a lot snapped into place. I have been 'hard-wired' to my family and running on that track for so long, looking for acceptance, whatever and leaving other people behind.
Without realizing it, I switched tracks, after I moved from Ontario to B.C. and the 5 year ago accident brought Karla into my life. She has her problems, as we all do, but she is growing in her yoga and all the 'love and energy' she acquires rubs off on me.
I guess that is why I can feel 'okay' about not keeping in touch with the 'gang that ruined me' in the first place. That is kind of hard, but I know it all began in childhood. I don't have to do and say as they do and say, as I once thought I ought (note the rhyme) Still working on things, but feel so much better.
I was even able to help Karla to not kick her husband out of the house (as she didn't have the whole story). Now she has, and her last email today was "Love love love love love love love"
There is always Good in the Bad
Love
Izzy
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version