Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Not sure what to put for a title!
Twoapenny:
Just thinking about loud again. Some of the friends I am complaining about only visiting when they have a problem will do me favours if I ask them to, but there's no two way socialising between us. I'm wondering if they have a co-dependency thing going on with me as well? Perhaps that's why we're drawn to each other? We help each other out when necessary but then flounder a bit when it just comes to spending time together and enjoying ourselves?
lighter:
Exploring, educating ourselves, and discovering our own truths is so much more interesting than dwelling on the flaws of others, or repeating unhealthy patterns with the same unsatisfying results.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to add and experiment with additions and subtractions to our lives every week?
We could decide to replace one thing/activity with something uplifting, interesting, engaging and totally something we'd normally never consider..........
then DO IT!
I don't know why that's so exciting to consider, Tupp.
I think bc it might be like cracking the closet door and finding unexpected sunshine and lollipops for some of us.
MMMmmmm, Jolly Rancher Watermelon lollipops!
Light
Twoapenny:
Lighter I've no idea what Jolly Rancher Watermelon lollipops are but you've made me want to try some :) Excitement is the way forward :)
I've sent my text, the reply back is that she didn't come to my house with a problem. All the stuff I wrote about people turning up unannounced, how busy I am with my son, how it would be nice to see people for good times and not just when things are bad has been ignored. Her text to me yesterday was apologising if she upset me, now I've explained what I am upset about she is denying it. I am too tired for these relationships now. I will text back that I thought she had come with a problem and just leave it at that. Now I'm off to hunt for lollipops :)
Twoapenny:
Sorry, this is turning into a bit of a stream of consciousness now, I'm just jotting things down as I think of them!
Something that I've been thinking about a lot this morning is that virtually no-one spends any time with my son. He is the loveliest, sweetest, cutest little man, yet no-one in my family wants much to do with him, and some of my 'friends' don't bother either. I hadn't really thought about this much before. But now I am, I'm realising I really must spend time with people who do want to be around him and not keep letting other people take up my time - they take it away from both of us and don't give it back. So I need to clear those people out so I can make space for more people who love him as much as I do.
Twoapenny:
And another one from me!
There have been a couple of texts back and forth with me and my sister this morning. I don't want to argue about it - particularly not over text - so I've just said fine and don't worry about it. I've said my bit and been honest about how I feel and now I'm just not going to let anyone in if they turn up unannounced or give out tea and sympathy to anyone that I don't see for any other reason. Now she's sent me another text saying she is worried about it and me and she's going to let me have time out? I've no idea what to make of it so I've just put my phone away, I'd be interested in what you all make of that? I think my mindset now is it's done, I've said my bit and there's no point discussing it, it now needs to be down to me changing my behaviour and being more assertive, putting myself first and so on. So I think I'm going to just leave it as it is and do nothing now.
I've also just been to see my friend whose daughter died a few years ago, it's the anniversary today and I just went to take some flowers to her grave and stood there while my friend sobbed in my arms. She's still in so much pain and probably always will be, it made me think that life is too precious to waste it on people who don't appreciate you xxx
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