Christmas

[Twoapenny]

Well folks, it's that time of year again.  Peace on earth, goodwill to all - or stress, hassle, triggers, sadness and lonely times.  I thought I'd start this off so we can all share whatever we need to at the minute - what bothers us, what we like what helps us cope. So ..........................................

I feel like this year has been pretty good to us.  I still find this time of year hard but it gets less difficult as time goes on so I am hoping that will continue.

I find I cope with it better if I do things for other people.  This year we made a Christmas box for an elderly person - just a gift box with some little treats and pressies that will be given out by the local Age Concern branch.  I kind of did it thinking that I could buy things for someone else's mum as I don't really have one of my own to buy for.  My son came with me and we bought some nice little treats and he picked out some soaps and a puzzle book that he thought someone might like.  We also bought a nice warm hat and donated that to the local homeless shelter and gave some money towards the Christmas meals they put on there.

We're keeping things quiet this year - making little gifts and treats, spending time at home.  We're going to a friend's for lunch which is a real treat so I am looking forward to that.  I find the week between Christmas and New Year really hard, so I've saved some money for that so we can do things like go to the cinema or go ice skating or something, just little things to do that we couldn't do last year because we were broke!

I still miss having a family but I am slowly building up new friendships and things are changing, hopefully for the better.

So that's me at Christmas so far, hoping others are doing okay and looking forward to reading other posts xx

[Izzy_*now*]

Hi Tupp,

It's nice to know you have something to do. The Season is so different for so many people.

There was always a tree and the family when I was growing up, then, when we all had partners, we began to split between families, things change----as we all know, Nothing stays the same.

For my D and me, I always had a tree and tried to give her a good Season. We were usually with family, as the 3 siblings had 2 kids each, all born one a year from 1957 to 1965 (with the exception of 1962)= 6 + my D. My brother was later with his 2 kids. Now we are all grandparents of those kids' kids....come one year one of us will be a great grandparent!

For me? Y stopped putting up a tree when D and her husband stopped coming in a xmas and gave up on it entirely when I was dismissed. I have been out here for 14 years and have accepted a couple of invitations, but I don't have "the feeling"  anymore. Karla does a great Xmas, as I found out last year. A jar with all the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies (just mix and add melted butter, mix, drop and bake) a used book, (she threw in a bottle of wine for me--haha) but things that were useful, recycled etc. but nice. I was very impressed with her excellent imagination.

I bought her a yoga statue, as I had given her one for her birthday and she told me the setup of it and now she needed another, as she is into symmetry, so symmetry she has with her twins!

My D has a ½ sister, through their father, who lives not far from me. M invited me there the first year I was here on my own and gave me a wonderful big red Xmas ball, on a long red ribbon....it hangs all the year round from a ceiling hook in the corner of the living room--I dust it with a dust mop....so am always ready with at least one decoration.

I could say I am a Bah-Humbug, but it's not quite true--- I believe it is who you spend time with over the holidays, and any holiday!

Best
Izzy

[lighter]

Tupp:

There are those people who are happier giving to others, and I suspect you're one.

Always thoughtful, and more careful with others than yourself......

how lovely you went out of your way to validate, and nurture yourselft his holiday.  Acknowledging your desire to connect with maternal spirit, instead of letting it simmer.... venting it by mindfully selecting the gifts you might have chosen for your own mother, but without the conflict, and experiencing it as joy.  How very wise of you, Tupp!

IMO, you've found a way to recognize a painful place in your heart, and give it attention....... validate it and express it so you may turn your attention back to what's in front of you now.

It warms my own heart to read your description of your holiday with your son, and friends.  It sounds just right: )

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Me, too, Lighter.

I was very touched by that, Tupp...you buying a gift for another mother...who will appreciate it so much.

What grace.

xo
Hops

[gratitude28]

Hi Tupp, Lighter, Hops, Iz,
We are doing some charity here and then our little family is going on vacation far away Now that I am older and my sister has children, I must say I miss being near family. I have changed a lot and NM has been squashed by the healthy people aroud her for the most part, so being with family is no longer trying. I look forward to the day when we retire and can be around everyone. What a change from my earlier life! I no longer live in fear of NM. She hasn't changed, but the rest of us have changed in how we deal with her (and what we accept from her behavior-wise).
Of course NM hasn't talked to us in ages and is now badgering us for gift ideas (because she wants to be able to justify buying herself stuff). I am just ignoring her note since she can't talk to her grandkids normally about their lives. They could give a hoot about gifts - they love the people in their lives.
Tupp, your ideas are so lovely! You should adopt a nice lady to be your sweet mom figure! I have been blessed to have my mother in law as that person. I don't get to see her enough, but she has taken that role for me.
Iz- I don't think I'll even decorate this year *sigh.* Not quite bah humbug either, just not motivated and we'll be gone for Christmas week. I like the idea of the yearlong decoration
Lighter and Hops - Happy Holidays
xxxooo
Beth

[Hopalong]

Same to you, ((((Beth)))) and ((((Everyone))))--

My Xmas will be going out for Chinese and to see Les Miz with a girlfriend who's also family-free (she does have family she sees, but not here).

As the years go by, it gets easier.

love
Hops