Author Topic: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!  (Read 6918 times)

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #15 on: December 19, 2012, 02:25:48 PM »
Thanks Bones. In the past, I have had the police dismiss unrelated events because I had no witnesses or concrete proof, but I think now, in the wake of recent events, they can't afford to dismiss a potentially life-threatening problem. I have no reason to believe that SIL has ever received treatment for her mental health problems. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and my brother is an exact clone of my Co-Father .... married an N, and defends the bad behavior as "oh well, you know how she is." His only way of dealing with it seems to be sending her away on trips to visit family, or on lengthy cruises to keep her out of the house when he has business.

There are two very disturbing things going on here that need to be reported.
1. I did not give anyone in my family my new address. They paid someone to obtain it for them.
2. Someone trespassed onto my property and dropped off a package without so much as a note.

It needs to be dealt with. My husband is becoming annoyed with all of this and keeps telling me that my father is just old and doing stupid things. I'd accept that if it were only him, but the possibility of SIL's involvement changes everything. We've seen how the mentally ill can simply snap without a moment's notices, and it's a chance I'm not willing to take.


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((JustKathy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I hear you!  Go for it given that your family is at risk.

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13621
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2012, 09:11:43 AM »
Would a small security camera aimed at the driveway and front walk be helpful?
Wouldn't help prove how this particular package arrived, but in future...

And be aware there is a CHANCE your hubby's right, and that your SIL
wasn't there. I hope.

I'm sorry for the stress of it (((((Kathy)))) --

love
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

JustKathy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 631
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #17 on: December 23, 2012, 08:00:10 PM »
Thanks Hops,

I can’t afford a security system, though mounting a fake camera might work. Even with that, my Co-F feels that he’s above the law when it comes to his children. They’re his kids, he owns them, and he can do as he pleases. He has disregarded, and even laughed off, our requests for privacy thus far.

There IS a very good chance that the package was delivered by him, and not SIL. Even if he’s too old to drive safely, he’d do it anyway if given orders from his queen. Where I worry about SIL is what might happen in the future, now that we’re living closer. NM knows exactly how to “work” SIL, push her buttons, and get her fired up enough to act out. The threatening emails I received all contained information from my childhood that only NM would have known, so she evidently gave this information to SIL, taunted her with lies about me, and got her fired up enough to compose those emails. Since my brother is the golden child, NM thinks his gun collecting is “cute.” She isn’t connecting the dots to any threat. She's completely oblivious to the fact that it’s also a threat to HER, as SIL hates everyone in the family (everyone on earth for that matter).

All that being said, I’m still hoping that this cancer NM has had for years is real, and perhaps just a slow growing type that has been over exaggerated as “a month to live” for four years and counting. I hate that I’m wishing death on someone, but it’s the only thing that will end my own suffering. I may try emailing a cousin who I haven't talked to in years to find out what he knows about this "terminal cancer." If she goes, the harassment goes with her. I just wish she'd die. I really do.


« Last Edit: December 23, 2012, 08:03:16 PM by JustKathy »

KayZee

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 182
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #18 on: December 27, 2012, 03:22:26 PM »
(((((((Kathy))))))))

Just wanted to send some love and encouragement your way.  You have every right to feel violated!  Just reading your post made the hair on the back of my neck stand up!  It never ceases to amaze me how Ns pervert the holidays, and use "gift-giving" to force their own nasty agendas.  (Mind of an N: "What should I give this year?  I know: terror!  Stalking is the gift that keeps on giving!")

Do whatever you need to do to feel safe.  Even if you don't want to go whole-hog and file a restraining order, maybe you can just phone your local police department and register a trespassing complaint?  That way, you'll have something on record in case FOO's strange behavior becomes a habit (hopefully, it won't).  Chances are, the police will also offer to keep an eye on your house when they're out making their rounds, just to make sure there's no suspicious activity.  The latter might just give you added piece of mind while you process the feelings in the wake of this box of doom.

hang in there, Kay x

JustKathy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 631
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2012, 06:46:44 PM »
Thanks Kay,

One thing that I find particularly unsettling about this, is that having our names on the deed does NOT mean that we are living here. We own two rental properties, and this house could have been purchased as a rental property too. My NM went into immediate stalker mode simply because the phone number at the old address was disconnected, but we still own that other house. It's underwater on the mortgage, so rather than sell it, we turned it into a rental.

With that in mind, what if this house were a rental property, and there were tenants in here being harassed by someone stalking the owner? If it were me, I'd be terrified and would break the lease on the house and move. The only visual proof my parents have of my living here is my old pickup truck in the garage, which means nothing. We could have been checking on the property or doing maintenance.

I think what I may do to shut this down is send a basic "cease and desist" letter stating that this home is not owner occupied, and that the tenants have the right to report any stalking or trespassing activities to the police. I can throw away letters and packages, but I can't live with knowing that they're watching the house, or that they may even ring the doorbell at some point. I don't want them thinking that I'm here. I may even send the letter to a neighbor back in AZ and have him mail it, so the letter arrives with an AZ postmark and confuses them into thinking that I'm still living there.

BTW, I decided to open the box since it was so weightless. Guess what? Empty! It contained two pairs of socks and some tissue paper. Not even a nasty note this year. This is the equivalent of a gang hit. Just like tagging a wall, my mother delivered an empty box to my house, trespassed, and placed it in a prominent place to send a message: "You can't run from me. I will hunt you down and find you. I will NOT be ignored."

Evil. Pure evil. I'm going to send this letter, and if anymore mail comes from them, I'll notify the post office of unwanted harassment. They'll get one nice warning, then the gloves will come off. What do I have to lose at this point? My inheritance? Pffffffffft!
« Last Edit: December 30, 2012, 12:57:27 PM by JustKathy »

Twoapenny

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3740
  • Becoming
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #20 on: December 30, 2012, 09:22:45 AM »
Wow Kathy, that is really creepy stuff and you are spot on, it's to let you know they know where you are.  I'd still get all this written up and let the police have a copy, even if there's nothing they can do now if this does escalate you'll need all the proof you can get.  The fact that they've gone to so much trouble to deliver so little shows that this is a little more than someone trying to deliver a Christmas gift - I know you knew that anyway but I think anyone would think this 'weird' (you know how sometimes what they do doesn't seem too bad to anyone else).  I remember my son getting a piece of birthday cake from my sister's son - a week after his birthday and shoved in a normal envelope so that it was smashed to pieces and completely mashed up.  Normal people don't behave like this.

((((((((((((((((((((((((Kathy)))))))))))))))))))))))))

JustKathy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 631
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #21 on: December 30, 2012, 01:00:22 PM »
Quote
I remember my son getting a piece of birthday cake from my sister's son - a week after his birthday and shoved in a normal envelope so that it was smashed to pieces and completely mashed up. 

OMG, what is wrong with them? Shaking head ....

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #22 on: December 31, 2012, 07:20:00 AM »
N's are BAT-SHIT CRAZY!!!!!!

Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

KayZee

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 182
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2013, 10:44:26 AM »
((((((Kathy))))))

Holy sh*t!  An empty box!  What a crazy, crazy witch!!!

 But it's the perfect metaphor in a way, isn't it?  In the end, Ns don't have anything to really "give" anyway.  As people, they're all presentation--bowed and gift wrapped--but inside there's nothing inside them but a big, dead void.

Hang in there, and keep documenting.  There's not a person in the world who won't find that kind of behavior criminal, evil and freaking weird!

Kay x

lighter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8635
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #24 on: January 04, 2013, 01:30:37 PM »
JK:

I hope you come up with a plan to handle this situation, do all you can, then put it out of your mind.

Worrying is what the PD's want for you.... they win when they occupy your head.

If you do everything in your power to limit contact, it's possible to go back to living in the moment, IME.

Keep your head where your feet are.

Be here, now.

Lighter

JustKathy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 631
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #25 on: January 05, 2013, 11:41:10 AM »
Thanks, everyone, for your support and advice. It really means a lot to me.  :)

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #26 on: January 06, 2013, 05:13:38 AM »
Thanks, everyone, for your support and advice. It really means a lot to me.  :)

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((JustKathy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

fraidycat

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 88
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #27 on: January 06, 2013, 10:43:06 PM »
They are really playing you Kathy. Maybe a surveillance camera would give you the proof or peace of mind that you need. 

JustKathy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 631
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #28 on: January 08, 2013, 06:19:03 PM »
Thanks fraidy. I don't know how much security cameras cost, but maybe I could install a cheap one. One positive thing that we have in our neighborhood is an armed response security company that drives by and monitors things. If you pay the monthly fee, they'll drive by your house twice a day. My neighbor subscribes to the service, so they drive by my house too. I'm not sure how much of a deterrent it is, but it's better than nothing.

fraidycat

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 88
Re: Trying to stay NC, they won't stop stalking me!
« Reply #29 on: January 13, 2013, 08:36:19 PM »
Maybe you should give the security company a call to find out if they can help with your situation. I don't think it would hurt to let them know what your dealing with...more eyes on your home plus they might have suggestions.  The indoor/outdoor cameras that you can buy on line might be a better fit & no monthly fees. I took a quick look at prices and they very greatly but it looks like you can get a four camera indoor/outdoor system for under $300. Smaller and less expensive systems are available. It might be worth the piece of mind to know who is dropping by and if it's just UPS or another delivery company dropping off your family may not really know where you live. Best of luck Kathy no one should have to worry about these things.