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Preparing to be assertive!
Twoapenny:
Hi all :)
Well, as some of you know we are in the midst of possible legal action regarding my son and medical negligence. I have been following both Izzie and Lighter's threads and one thing that has struck me is the need to be on top of things and keep on at solicitors and other professionals.
I am not good at being assertive, particularly with people in power or authority. I find it hard to stand my ground or say my piece. I was very disappointed to find out this week that something essential hasn't been done and some questions that I asked went unanswered.
So this weekend's lesson in being assertive is to write to my sol with my concerns about the situation, make it clear that I am not happy and do not want things to continue this way and to state clearly that I want my unanswered questions answered.
Eek! Makes me feel ill just thinking about it. But needs to be done, I need to learn how to do this stuff. So will let you know how I get on with it.
Also had another weird dream last night and woke up realising that I am allowed to say no. As a child I couldn't say no, that wasn't allowed at all. I'm an adult now. I need to get my head around that and start reacting as a well educated, independent, capable woman, not like a five year old who knows she'll be in trouble if she doesn't do what someone else wants.
More eek! But remembering "oh" and "don't take it personally" :)
Izzy_*now*:
Good Luck to you, twoapenny,
It is far easier to be assertive when you know the truth, or have proof of the truth, whether it be receipts or invoices, or the Daily Journal you will keep about all the relevant occurrences.
My pain journal is 4 years long, and it was difficult to stop entering notes, which are now irrelevant. I have every email to and from and in it's own Folder. When a question arose I would go to my Journal, search for the "word", see the date and then go to emails in that date area. That, in particular, made me feel more in control of answers, especially as the years passed.
xx
Izzy
lighter:
I wish I was as organized as you, Izz.
Tupp.... you get'em girl!
Don't ask.....
don't get. That's saying for a reason, and the DA does respond to pressure, calls, and constant requests for action, IME.
Light
Overcomer:
Pretend like you have been giving a terminal cancer diagnosis. That is when my filters went down. What are they going to do, kill me?
Now I say anything I want to anyone I want!
It is liberating! Who cares if they like you?
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Skits on April 19, 2013, 10:46:45 AM ---Good Luck to you, twoapenny,
It is far easier to be assertive when you know the truth, or have proof of the truth, whether it be receipts or invoices, or the Daily Journal you will keep about all the relevant occurrences.
My pain journal is 4 years long, and it was difficult to stop entering notes, which are now irrelevant. I have every email to and from and in it's own Folder. When a question arose I would go to my Journal, search for the "word", see the date and then go to emails in that date area. That, in particular, made me feel more in control of answers, especially as the years passed.
xx
Izzy
--- End quote ---
Hi Izzy,
Thank you! I know what you mean about paperwork/proof etc - I probably have kept too much but I would rather end up burning a couple of boxes of stuff that doesn't get used than realise I've chucked something I could have used. Although it isn't as well organised as it seems yours is! I do love the ease of communicating via email, so quick and ready made copies with the time and date on them :)
--- Quote from: lighter on April 19, 2013, 12:04:19 PM ---I wish I was as organized as you, Izz.
Tupp.... you get'em girl!
Don't ask.....
don't get. That's saying for a reason, and the DA does respond to pressure, calls, and constant requests for action, IME.
Light
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Lighter. I hadn't chased him up about this at all. I was given a rough time frame which meant we should have known about now whether or not we had a case. With that in mind, I emailed him a couple of questions about something else I want to look into, based on the assumption that he had a good idea now of how our case is shaping up, only to be told he's done nothing. Sometimes it's things like this that throw a curved ball - I trusted him to do his job properly without me having to be on his case or check over his shoulder (other people's responsibility, giving up control, trusting in others to do what they need to, etc, etc - plus the guy charges a fortune) - only to discover he's done nothing and we're no further on now than we were a year ago (other than the bits I have done myself). So I do need to start insisting on monthly updates and make sure he's doing what he needs to. Sheesh. He's on the big bucks and I'm doing the work. Perhaps I need to retrain? :)
Thank you, Overcomer, it's difficult, isn't it? I'd never be that slack if someone were relying on me because I wouldn't like them to think badly of me, then I find it didn't happen because I don't like being pushy :) Ironic. Will get on the case over the weekend :)
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