Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
I am probably Narcissistic
Hopalong:
Hey, ((((Boat))))
I really feel for you. I understand the longing to have a clear, definitive explanation, so you could then take clear, definitive steps to fix it.
It's not as though the problem is something in you, vs. the culture. It's what you said, you are highly sensitive and reactive, and this world
favors crisply organized alpha folks. Or this culture, anyway.
As a sensitive poet, friend with many a bonkers artist...I do think you are not alone in these feelings. You have company.
Many the issue is just that...finding your company. I continue to think that long-term group therapy is powerful for this stuff.
love and comfort,
Hops
river:
Hi green bean,
If you want some kind of explanation or Dx, ~ heres some for ya, see if this fits.
this is according to the paradigm that makes the most sense to me.
Theres 3 fundamental disorders, borderlines, narcissists and schizoids. Its a dynamic thing, and one in a family often gives rise to the existence of the others. However, Ns very commonly give rise to schizoid, the schizoid is so horrified at being used, discarded, dehumanised, being treated as a usable disposable object, and all those experiences so familiar here.
So that leaves the person with a foundational experience of relationship that is often played out and repeated. And it leaves an internal paradigm of relationship within the person that consists of a split, on one side of the split is the person who is in the thrall of the N. that is called grafically the 'slave/master' relationship. Being hurt, horrified and betrayed ultimately this person leaves, or moves themselves to a distance, and often that is a distance from all relationships, and life in general. And this can be a great distance, or a compromise, for example, as I'm doing now, having relationships online, but great shortage of real life relationships, or being with someone, but rather detached/ disintersted, the variations are endless.
But heres the thing that most Ts dont mention. It's not just all in the schizoid person's imagination, or their 'intrapsychic structure', the world IS actually a dodgy place full of those that are calous and bonkers and exploitative. Its just that for recovery we have to learn to navigate all this, and connect with the best of ourselves and the best of others, and that, of course is one thing to say, and really a bumpy road to try to do.
thats my bit. theres also a website along these lines: www.selfinexile.com which explains it better than I've done.
How does all that strike you?
river.
Meh:
Thanks River, makes sense to me.
Meh:
Haven't been on here much, I feel like writing though since I spend all day on the computer and phones, this time of day I also feel like I am spent of energy and that my words wouldn't even be coherent at this point.
SallyingForth:
Personally I like the explanations of personality disorders on ptypes.com . They are simple and to the point.
Everyone has a little narcissism in them.
I used to question if I was like my mother, an NPDer and OCPDer. Someone told me if I questioned it I probably was not disordered. Disordered people like my DH, my NM, and my APD father never question or wonder if they are disordered and would deny it in a flash if so diagnosed. My DH has OCPD and denies the diagnosis all the time. He also claims no one ever told him. A complete lie.
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