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Won attorney fees in custody trial

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lighter:
Tupp:

I hope your answers arrive very soon.

Whatever they are, they're the beginning of the end.

You'll be able to close that chapter, and leave it behind without regrets.

If others file complaints in the future, yours will be there in great detail, offering support and corroboration..... perhaps the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Finally.

 It's right and good to finish it and let it go...... the start of fresh beginnings, which you deserve and are entitled to, for you and your boy.

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
Excellent, Lighter! May this be the end of it. (and you're free to use any ideas I've uttered that make any sorta sense...)

I've been gone, about another 10 days again. This time alone, driving 6 days to spend 3 days at the business. Driving is good for simply emptying one's head and letting the wind whistle through. It's sort of a cleansing. Of course, my bro was in our meeting - and of course, all my interactions with him were fraught with the usual crap. My mom turned 80 this year and I stopped to see her a bit.

Honestly, not one bag o' crap or trash has moved in her space since the last time I was there. There are the same paths through the stacks. And she started with the complaining by phone before I even got there. SIL was out for a run, and got back before I left so I got a chance to watch her childishly vent her hostility directly at my mom... and watch mom pull the victim-cloak of miserableness around her.

And then I spit gravel, in my haste to get on the road. Took a couple hundred miles to the get the taste out of my mouth.

Nothing's changed with my grandsons and D's... except that H and her fiancee have finally started discussing feelings, options, ways forward, etc. together. A is doing her best to weasel out of psych evaluation, and as far as we know still going to meetings; but the oldest boy is on a waiting list for his... and I believe that's one of the reasons that no court date for custody has been set yet. The boys really want to go home, at least according to A. Neither H or I have been allowed to speak with them.

Part of me is bracing for that situation to get worse, before it gets better. But neither H or I regret taking action when we did. The alternative was unthinkable. And while some of the reports back about the boys are worrisome, foster care is still better than abject neglect and having a wacky, scary, unpredictable parent.

Lighter the whole time I've been here, you've been going through your version o' crap. Whether directly, indirectly, richochet'd, and/or boomeranged. While I agree, that "good" has to stand up to and refuse "evil" to have sway within whatever little square foot of earth we control... we just can't fix or bring justice to it all, everywhere. Sometimes, it helps to just spin the tires, spit gravel... and go where evil ISN'T. Sometimes that's the best, all around.

Life's too short, to spend all those present moments on that kind of crap.

lighter:
sKep:

Well the PD's filed TWO appeals, and this certainly is not the end of it.

I'm in offensive mode at this point......

honestly.

It's very hard to wrap one's mind around the fact that offensive tactics (the pd's tactics) are what have a chance of bringing closure.  It's giving up hope that any settlement can be reached at all.  That any agreement will bring resolution.  It's getting hammered, without resistance, until you start hammering back, and where does that lead?

Honestly, I'm taking the chance that it eventually backs to pd's down.  And here we are at the end, and all rational people NOT hounded by PD's will never understand finally making a stand and going on the offense. 

"It's about to end", "Just let it go", "Aren't you ready to move on and just leave it behind yet?" they say.....

like I any control over it ending, or not.

It comes down to this.....

I can stand and react to the legal punches, as I always have, or I can be proactive and throw legal punches back in hopes of backing the pd's down.

I might not be able to throw punches as the pd's, but I can darn sure touch the people who're advocating for them in the system. 

::sigh::

This sucks.  It takes time, and money, but I was already spending time and money.  It's just added time and money to go on the offensive, but at least I'll have some hope of actually ending this some day?

Not sure about anything, but I will tell you this. 

Professionals (Docs and attorneys) don't like ratting each other out.  Yesterday I shamed a very good and reputable psych into performing an evaluation of the psych that harmed my children, and I find myself terribly relieved.  I'm experiencing very little conflict about going forward, not just bc it might save other children and non pd parents from being harmed in the future by this incompetent psych, but bc I think it's the right thing to do, for the right reason, at this time.

It feels right, and the psych helping me knows it's the right thing too.  That's how egregious the complaints are, and I just have to make peace with that. 

I'm following up on the complaints against opposing counsel today as well.

::gathering wood::

Honestly, I found myself hoping there would be no appeals filed.

Silly rabbit.

Lighter

Twoapenny:
I hope this all settles at some point, Lighter.  LIke you, I found the system works to protect the abusive - it's very much survival of the fittest and anyone with honesty, integrity and morals is at a disadvantage.  You are right to do whatever feels right for you - it's different things for different people.  But I do hope that it settles at some point so that it's not such a big thing in your life; we all need some peace and tranquility in our lives and it's hard when other people are pulling at your coat tails.

sKePTiKal:
You poor dear.

No one LIKES being forced onto the offensive - actively pursuing a threat for the sake of one's own self-defense; it's a last resort.
But, if that's where you are, know that no one DARE criticize you for defending yourself: they aren't in your shoes. I'll be the first to cheer you on and help you troubleshoot your tactics. Give you a place to bounce ideas off, you know?

It's something that confused the crap out of me, way back in Twiggy's story... and someone (I think it was Carolyn) explained to me that the "turn the other cheek" rule doesn't apply in a life/death situation. Well: when someone is making your life a legal hell, it's just a technical definition shy of life or death. You just want to be left in peace. It's your RIGHT to go about your life without having to answer legal accusations all the time.

Someone needs to "let it go" - but it ain't you.

I fear for the future of our society, in that it's value-system is being turned upside-down and inside-out and spotlights are being trained on the fringe, the freaky and odd, the dysfunctional - and they're being held up as MODELS... and we are losing the basic bonds of having values in common: like the golden rule, the simplest, most universal values and virtues. In fact, people who work hard and hold to those values are being denigrated in our society - in the popular culture. Used to think my noticing this, meant I was a paranoid pessimist given to flights of fearful imagination... but it's not me... it is, unfortunately, real.

Then, I thought: my.... I'm getting old and cranky!... until my 30-something D brought up exactly the same observations. I feel a little better about having natural hermit tendencies. Keeping my FOO at arm's length with their multiple dysfunctions and not letting them guilt me into becoming the "sucker" in their games...

LOOK: I'm digressing again, rambling aimlessly... this is just WORK: a laborious task, to be executed with attention to detail and the utmost patience (!!!) just like cleaning out an endless Aegean stables... it's a dirty job, thankless job, but someone's gotta do it if you EVER hope to be done with these people who have more money than sense or soul. You are training these people to leave you alone. It's barely personal... but apparently they didn't get the message the first time.

Go get 'em, Lighter!!!!!

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