Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
My brother and just life and stuff
Meh:
It's no problem Hops!
I probably shouldn't be spending my time chatting with people but I do. I chat with somebody in England, Ireland, New Zealand and Pakistan. I think it just gives me a distraction.
Meh:
This morning I went to drop of a $200.00 deposit at a room for rent that is small and in a 70's style house. The woman who rents it told me when I gave her the money order that she has 80,000 dollars in college loan debt, found out that her teenage son drives a car to high school but doesn't apparently have a job. The woman gave a business card, she is a family counselor and works 2 days a week. There is only one shower in the house and would be shared by 4 people. So not too excited about it but at least I have some place to go. AND I am tired having to always say to myself "it's not ideal but it is something". Oh well. There is also a Rottweiler in the garage that I will have to make friends with in order to access the washing machine and dryer. So yeah. Feh. So is the cycle of my life. I am going to add more in a few minutes.
Um, I have been cleaning on my Sunday. Bleached everything in the bathroom I use, then cleaned part of the oven out and the refrigerator and washed down cupboards and appliances.
I don't feel like going anywhere, got no way to go easily and nobody to go with. So no weekend trips for me but at least I got a walk in I suppose.
So the person gave me her business card she is a family therapist and she deals with sex issues...I knew I sensed some kind of vibe from her she is kind of a sex therapist. Figures. I'm going to miss my current room mate she is so normal, nice and down to earth.
Meh:
I am procrastinating against applying for other jobs.
Meh:
Feel pretty far away from spirituality right now. Used to be that I would go to Buddhist circles and stuff like that, READ about spirituality in one form or the other. Now it all kind of seems silly to me- silly and distant stuff. I look back and I question how could I have spent so much time on that stuff.
Not sure why I am posting this, just an observation of myself I guess. It's funny how it is easier to believe in those things when I feel good and harder do believe if I feel bad.
Hopalong:
Hey Boat,
I'm wishing there were a more cheerful house for you to share...are you on your own for finding a room to rent? Just looking up notices, etc?
I understand what you mean about spirituality being harder to find when you're down. I'm feeling that way too. For me, it's about winter coming. I've been saying to myself stuff like: All you have to do now is get up, do the day, endure it, and spring is going to come.
I'm feeling isolated again and really need to do something about it. My schedule makes it hard. I think living alone wouldn't be so hard if I had some way of meeting a friend during the week. Now, with the pooch, I have to come home first and take care of her, and so then it's hard to unplug myself to go out again just for some human connection in an evening. But I need to, so my project is to figure out how.
I think if she can go with me and wait in the car, since it's no longer hot out, that'd be better...
Chin up Boat...this too shall get better. (I like meditation that's not "about" spirituality but just lets me connect with whatever I can connect with that day, without labeling it...)
hugs
Hops
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