Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
My brother and just life and stuff
Meh:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on April 04, 2014, 12:00:17 AM ---I'm tired too, haven't been sleeping well.
Work's been going well since I kind of got furious enough to "take it back."
Cleaned my office space to a faretheewell, brought in flowers, put my head
down and starting cranking out more work than usual. Makes it go faster.
Even wrote a short intro to my "memoir" about the place...
Tomorrow I head south for a big trade show for four days.
Painful because each time I go, I pass right through my daughter's town.
But I'll be okay. And I do like getting away.
(I had a guy I've never met but online ask me to go on a trip, too!)
So weird. How about, uhhh, a cup of coffee first?
Some of these gentlemen seemed a bit cranked up...
hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Sometimes a little bit of clearing and cleaning a space and a vase of flower helps!!!! :) Good that you had a phase of momentum.
I am just going to keep on making changes in my life until something really works out or until I get myself into another pickle.
Yah you got to be careful with dating sites.. some of them may not be in their right mind. For me I still don't have the guts to meet them in person. Serious social anxiety but also I prefer my own company a lot of the time IDK..
Meh:
I requested some time off of work, don't know if I will get it but I did ask for it. Just a few days before and after my B-day
Will probably hang with my Gay co-worker dude again on Sunday
Meh:
7:30 Here west coast time, Bob Marley on the Starbucks speaker system. With my laptop, couldn't sleep well at all last night, asthma and allergy acting up, woke up 3-4 times. Over taking steroid inhalers which is probably not recommended and generic Benadryl . And they charge about $200.00 for a little thing that fits in the palm of my hand, just glad my insurance is working. My Birthday was entered in wrong by the insurance company.
I'm always feeling self conscious about complaining too much but hey, life is about tweaking things until we get it right.
I've got no idea what else to write about this morning. I know there are probably tasks that I SHOULD do.
Meh:
I haven't seen my mother since my brother died. I texted her: "You never ask me if I'm okay"...... She responds: " I assumed if something was really wrong you would tell me. Hard to know by texting"
Of course that isn't the whole string of back and forths.
but it is a fact, I don't ever recall her saying "are you okay?" ever.
I know old old story. But I still have to deposit it somewhere. Maybe I can engrave something dreadful in her memory if she has a spot in her husband's cemetery plot or something. Hum... I know it's pointless but I wish it was just carved in stone somewhere how lame she has been to me.
Hopalong:
I'm sorry, Boat...
your mother just doesn't get how unloved you feel.
Breaks my heart.
Just for contrast, I yearn to be welcome to ask my D, are you okay?
She won't answer, not even text. I do not exist. 3 years now. Painful...
Anyway, enough of that one.
My job for that is to re-re-re-re-release it so I don't go around devastated 24/7.
hugs
Hops
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