Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
My brother and just life and stuff
Meh:
Today I called in sick to work. Only the 2nd time in like 10 months. Though I feel like I could lose my job over it. I have some PTO that will cover it but still, it is sunny outside so I figure maybe they think I am skipping out.
I called in sick to try and take care of some personal problems that I don't want to explain here because you more or less kind of know about it already.
It's just that I feel like I just want to cry. Like an exasperated : "hully-ferk" What NOW!? What ferking now god?
This morning I called the sick line and went back to sleep for 2 more hours because I have been feeling exhaustion for a long time now. And then when I woke up I had to deal with the situation at hand.
Now I am drinking a cup of coffee. I just have this over-all feeling in life like I am just not doing it right. Not living right. Like even when I plan and do my best something happens but I guess all I can do is keep moving forward. I just had an unexpected $2,000.00 expenditure... It's just painful in more than one way. I know it's only money but it kind of wipes out my savings from this crumby job. Savings that I had because I live a pretty dull and frugal life trying to save something so I can DO SOMETHING....
Oh well.....
Hopalong:
That would make me cry too, Boat.
$2000 is brutal, when you've scraped so hard and been so careful.
I am REALLY sorry.
And I REALLY hope you won't despair for long.
You saved it once. You truly can save it again.
You are stronger than you know.
And it is good to cry. An excellent and healing
and alive thing to do. It is good you can feel.
And spring is still here.
Love and comfort,
Hops
Meh:
Yah, Thanks Hops. I come here and just put stuff. Lots of it is kind of "bad". I don't really have anybody that I talk to though about my life in 3-D. I will come back to this in a second...
But yah, I kind of caught myself because I kind of go into a despair type of feeling. But now it's more like "at least I am okay"... is what my second thought goes to. Not to let any one thing devastate me. Anyways I am not articulating well, I have a long too do list for this evening's chores and tasks and I will frantically start now and see what I can accomplish in the next 60 minutes. My goal is to accomplish 50% of what I need to do in 60 minutes starting NOW. (KE-pew) race starts
And I got about 50% done in 2 hours time. Sigh. But enough is enough.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Garbanzo on April 07, 2014, 04:31:53 PM ---Today I called in sick to work. Only the 2nd time in like 10 months. Though I feel like I could lose my job over it. I have some PTO that will cover it but still, it is sunny outside so I figure maybe they think I am skipping out.
I called in sick to try and take care of some personal problems that I don't want to explain here because you more or less kind of know about it already.
It's just that I feel like I just want to cry. Like an exasperated : "hully-ferk" What NOW!? What ferking now god?
This morning I called the sick line and went back to sleep for 2 more hours because I have been feeling exhaustion for a long time now. And then when I woke up I had to deal with the situation at hand.
Now I am drinking a cup of coffee. I just have this over-all feeling in life like I am just not doing it right. Not living right. Like even when I plan and do my best something happens but I guess all I can do is keep moving forward. I just had an unexpected $2,000.00 expenditure... It's just painful in more than one way. I know it's only money but it kind of wipes out my savings from this crumby job. Savings that I had because I live a pretty dull and frugal life trying to save something so I can DO SOMETHING....
Oh well.....
--- End quote ---
Gosh, G, I can identify with all of this so much - the endless slogging, the endless trying, that feeling like you're constantly swimming against the tide - and then one thing comes along and you've got to start all over again. It's tough. I don't know what the answer is. I am finding life is getting easier for me. Hopefully it will for you, too.
Completely understand re your mum not bothering to ask if you're okay. My whole family are very self centred. They just can't seem to have anyone else in their head space (unless they want something from them). I'm sort of the opposite, I've had to work at thinking about myself at all because I always thought about everyone else. It's hard. Again, no answers. Only keep chipping away at it, like you do. It's good to take a duvet day once in a while. I think the emotional stuff can wear us out more than we realise.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that your next lot of savings can go on something wonderful for you instead of something dull and mundane :)
Meh:
Yah, hiya two 8) , I just got back onto internet service here
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