Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

My brother and just life and stuff

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Hopalong:
I hear you, Boat--

To me, loneliness is sometimes like a vat of cold congealed soup.
I step into it with little warning sometimes.
It also can hit strongly at the most beautiful times of year,
since I want to have someone to share little comments
about any of it. Weather, oh look--that bloomed, etc.

If getting on here, or on chat, helps you cope, bravo for it.


big hug,
Hops

Gaining Strength:
I empathize with your last post.  I find it difficult to always be alone, year after year.  If there is any socializing to do it is because I have arranged it.  And that is mostly going out to public activities not getting together with others.  I just don't get called and included.  It is certainly painful AND lonely. 

I am glad yo post here. I find it helpful in a way I do not even understand to come here and post.  It helps me work things out.  It helps to share my pain, my frustration, my hopes.  Thinking of you Garbanzo - Happy Birthday.

Twoapenny:
Hi Garbanzo, hoping you are okay, noticed you don't seem to have posted for a little while, hope you are getting some R and R and looking after yourself well xx

Meh:
Oh Hiya Two, and all. Thanks. Yah haven't really been on here recently. Feel like most of everything I've got to say I have put down.

My brother's birthday was on the 4th of July and he killed himself around this time last year so think I have just kind of had an undercurrent of sadness but whatevers it is what it is.

Emotions no matter how much I try to distract myself, well emotions are like some kind of under ground river, always there below the surface somewhere in the dark and all.

Kind of just wish I wasn't alone with my own company. Been spending too much time on my lap top, got sucked into group chats, lots of garbage talk in those kinds of chat rooms. I guess it draws me in and away from feeling that I am alone.

My roommate had invited me to watch Korean Soap Operas with her a while back.. I didn't because I feel like I impose on people and I didn't really have interest in it. Though idk I kind of feel that it is my own stupid fault that I feel lonely idk anymore.

just kind of the same old same old in my world



Hopalong:
Will that roommate give you a raincheck?
Sounds like a positive-and-odd (odd IS often positive) way to bond with someone,
or just make a friend. Even a light friendship is healing sometimes.

I will be thinking of you and your brother tomorrow, Boat.
Anniversaries are painful--time passing, benchmarks met and missed,
all of that.

Other than here (of course) -- how about laptopping less and
humaning some more? It's like vitamins. You need your human vitamin
every day so you don't develop rickets.

hugs
Hops

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