Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Almost died - wish I did
lighter:
(((((Finding Peace:)))))))
You're husband is broken. He can't be fixed. No matter how much he loves you, or you love him......
he's broken in a way that won't allow you to be with him any longer.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
This is a very difficult reality to come to grips with, but you can't pretend it's not the truth any more.
You're still here, and you're this wonderful person who can be OK on her own, and find other people to love again.
How strong you must be to hope and wish and try so hard so long for your husband?
You can use that strength for yourself now. To accept the truth, choose yourself, recover and make the life you've always deserved, but put on hold out of compassion and love.
Time to turn some of that compassion and love into self-care.....
time to let the thoughts about your h just float by, don't latch on to them, turning your focus back to yourself..... gently. Mindfully. Don't beat yourself up, this is going to take some getting used to.
Now.....
What do YOU need?
It's your turn now.
Please know the emotional pain is a messenger. You need to hear what it has to say in order to move through and beyond it.
Don't be afraid. This is your journey, and we're holding you in our thoughts and prayers. ::gather wood for the fire::
Lighter
You have permission to just let go of the WHY questions....... it doesn't matter why your h is broken, or can't understand or make connections anymore. It's done.
You can let go of your need to help him KNOW and UNDERSTAND, bc you tried your best, as long as you possible could, and now you know you can't save him.
The only one you truly can save is yourself.
You have permission to not worry about your h's journey anymore.
It's your journey to spend your gifts, forgiveness, and healing compassion on yourself.
Twoapenny:
Peace, I think it is hard to heal sometimes, we get so used to being the way we were that changing is difficult. But it is possible. At really difficult times I have just focused on getting through the next ten minutes - not worrying about before or after but just keeping it simple and concentrating on me. Even that is hard, we're so conditioned to put others before ourselves no matter how much it hurts us. But it can be done, and as you know this board is such a great source of comfort and support, keep posting, you are in my thoughts. xx
sKePTiKal:
--- Quote ---Hey you all, love you so, so much :) trying to put a happy face on.
--- End quote ---
You don't have to pretend life is all rainbows and bunnies and ice cream, for us. We know it's not like that, all the time.
We can walk those darker paths, right along side of ya and hold your hand.
You did that for us, remember? We will return the favor.
Hopalong:
How are you today, (((((Peace)))))?
Are you still hospitalized? How is your body healing?
When you go home, will you be on your own, with kids?
Who will step in to help you?
Hope you'll share about support and resources for you,
none too small. No steps are too small either.
Thinking of you.
with love,
Hops
lighter:
Peace:
You don't have to put on a happy face for anyone on this board.
We've all walked similar paths as you.
Not the exact same.
Familiar.
Your job can simply be to learn new coping strategies, boundaries, problem solving skills.... how to survive, heal and grow. As you do this you'll be modeling it for your children. I can see very clearly how you all deserve that.
THAT's a path you can mindfully choose for yourself.
It's the board member's honor to share what we've learned.
It's why we come here.
You have such an amazing spirit, (((Peace)))....
For us, teaching/sharing hard won lessons is the next step in learning, and we're so glad you're back: )
Lighter
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