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Twoapenny:
Okay, quick quiz.
There are numerous mentions of sexual abuse throughout my records, proving, I feel, that it was something I was genuinely affected by and not something I dreamed up to break up my parents marriage because I'm crazy.
I've spoken of what he did to numerous professionals over the years who have either done nothing or called me a liar and said I was mentally ill.
I'm writing out these synopses now, my version of events, what happened, what I know of the false accusations and so on and so forth.
Do I mention the sexual abuse and the fact that I think he's dangerous and that someone should at least check on my sister's kids and the other kids he's had contact with over the years? Or do I keep that to myself?
Every time I've mentioned it before they've come after me instead - another investigation, another accusation of mental illness, another stressful bout of questions and accusations and having to prove I didn't do something (which is quite difficult, how do you prove you're not lying?). So do I leave it out, so that I don't risk that happening again?
Or do I put it in, because it's my truth, my record, my version of what happened and I can, at least, prove I've been talking about this for years, even if I can't prove it happened?
Someone might run with it this time. They might find some proof and prosecute him. They might find no proof and I'll be officially a liar then. Nothing at all might happen. They might not even read what I write, just file it and archive it. What do you all think?
Meh:
Hi Two, just wanted you to know I read. Unfortunately I don't have advice because I haven't had experience with lawsuits etc.
Sounds a bit like you have concern for other people who may have been exposed and then also your personal healing path.
Hugs. XOXO I wish I knew what to say. There probably are some others who do have some advice for you.
This is horrible to say but frequently I feel like victims have to do their best just to "cut their losses" and get on with their own personal life and let other people fend for themselves. Though I don't think that is my advice. And again it sounds horrible but I feel this is what most people do: put energy into their own future apart from the past.
Being called a liar is crazy-making.
Twoapenny:
Hey Green, thanks, and yes, I agree with what you're saying about moving on and moving forward. I don't feel a need to report him, as such. I've already done that. If it turns out he's hurt other kids then, although that will be awful to know, I feel I've done the 'right' thing by reporting him in the past and I can't control the way others dealt with that report. If they've let kids down by their inaction then that will be on their shoulders, not mine.
I'm not going to do anything about the paperwork right now. I'll finish writing it up and just leave it to one side for a while. At the minute I feel like I should write my own truth, set it down and let go of whatever happens after that. But I know from past experience I might not feel like that in a few days or a few weeks time, so for now I will just do nothing. It's been years since all of this happened so a few more weeks won't make a lot of difference.
Thanks for your support, I appreciate it :)
Twoapenny:
Well I've just gone through another file, also relating to the breakdown I had many moons ago. Dear Lord, they had no idea what they were doing, no wonder I struggled so long with it. I've always felt very ashamed of that period, people kept making me feel like I was a malingerer and faking it, having read through the notes it's clear that no-one was communicating with anyone else and it's a real mess. I think I did well to get out of that one unscathed. Funnily it's still not clear what they diagnosed me with, none of them seem to know yet I was berated for not dealing with my condition. How do you deal with it when you don't know what it is? How silly.
I was very glad to see that I kept writing letters and adding notes at the time, they've been very useful in providing some context and giving a different version of events at the time. No-one seems to have taken any notice, mind you, but it's helpful for me now to see that.
Meh:
Two I'm not sure if you are currently seeing a therapist right now or not. I don't find them very helpful but some people do.
What if you took the papers into a therapists office with you?
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