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My Wife

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sea storm:
I don't know about moving forward. i don't think it is such a good idea after a loss so great. Just let it be whatever it is.  Expecting that you need to move on is a tall order for your recent loss.

I hope you have compassion for whatever you feel for a long time.  You know the stages of grief. Not for the feint of heart to ride them out.  Hard journey. 

Blessings,
Sea storm

For some reason I am kind of worried about you.

mudpuppy:
I don't think there are any tidy stages of grief. You get tossed into a washing machine of fairly random cycles and duration and every person has their own machine with its own settings. Some people are out and functioning in a month. Others never get out and maybe don't even want to; they hold the door from the inside if somebody tries to open it for them.
Everybody else is in some middle ground waiting for the next spin cycle to come on and knock them off their feet again until they can finally get out and  breathe again, although they're pretty wobbly and shaking the water out of their ears and the soap out of their eyes for a long time.

mud

teartracks:


Dear Mud,

Never heard a better analogy of what it's like to grieve.  It has its own time frame and as you said, it's different for each individual.  Hearing your analogy makes me believe that you're aware and as prepared as you can be for its manifest twists and turns.  Time is your friend, but in the dark times it feels like your enemy.

tt

lighter:
Mud:

You know where we are when you need to share the sadness, or how it feels to begin feeling better.

In the meantime, I hope you're breathing in the Spring air, and taking notice of the world again.

I know everything stops when you enter the struggle you've gone through.  The world passes you by, and you get used to letting it. 

It's OK to enter back into the world.... S would want you to.

lighter

sea storm:
Kind of beautiful that real love goes so deep. C S Lewis writes that it is the price he is willing to pay.

Love is so important to thriving.

Good to hear you again Mudpuppy.    Mudpuppy is such a good name. That you can even talk about life renewing itself and having the handle on the iinside that you can control to let others in sounds really positive for letting love in. Too much suffering destroys a person physically, mentally, spiritually. Yesterday someone told me that the brain does not know the difference between physical and mental pain. And that aspirin helps for both. To break the cycle and the stuckness. I don't know but it sounds interesting.

If someone got their leg lopped off people would rush to help and do everything possible. For broken heart, not so much. Nevertheless, Love BIG.   If it comes along and you feel that oceanic, moon tugging, heart racing feeling just throw yourself off the cliff.  Or maybe its different.  Love is just is like a little bird that surprises you at your birdfeeder and you feel delighted at its spirit.  The movies don't portray it much. Just the sex part and it is so much more.

I don't get moving on.  It took me a year to be able to take me face off the ground and look up when my partner died. It is probably different if you had a partner who was a good person,loyal, kind, honest etc.

A

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