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sea storm:
dear ones,

I had to sell my house on the river.  Pretty sad. Everyone says oh how awful to lose this wonderful place. I look down on th e river and just over the river is a little island. In the spring a bear lives there and  I can see him walk on the shore in the morning.  This year he isn't there.  The only way I know he is ther is I can hear loud cracks as he breaks branches.  It is sort of ominous by beautiful too. i can see him swim across the rive and that is also an amazing thing.  So powerful swimming against the tide of the river flowing fast.  He climbs right through the thick blackberries and I know its time to go inside. i know he walks through my yard every day. I am glad when winter comes and he hibernates. There is so much life on the river. Much better than a lake. Kingfishers, plenty of big eagles. So I went through  a big mourning period about leaving.  Then I started to hear things like
 Eagles dont carry luggage.   It is better to be free than have a mortgage that is driving me nuts and breaking my spirit. I came very attracted ot the buddhist nun way of doing things.
Moving is very stressful.  I found a smaller house and it has a pretty garden.Right in town. Walking distance to lots of things. 

sea storm:
I am doing something wrong and my message disappears if I write very long. Anyway, I have cried a lot about moving and it has stirred up the old demons of loss and betrayal.  My ex took a lot of money and so I have to sell the house after trying to hold onto it. The very act of selling the house is liberating though. I had so much grass to mow and a big garden and the
Whole Catastrophe  as Zorba would say. I am very lucky house prices as pretty low here and I sold my house for enough for a downpayment on a little house.  I am sick of striving. It took a lot of work to get my house sold and two years.  It is a lot of work to get my paperwork together and take care of business. So i really was going full throttle for too long. There is a great picture of a big passenger ferry stuck in full speed ahead and it gets beached.
Now I am starting to have nightmares about my ex stealing the money my mom left me.  I guess I am lucky he didn't throw me off the boat to get the insurance. 
It has helped to write this down. I feel calmer. I am looking out the window and there is a big bunch of snowdrops bllooming in a basket on the deck. So much change this year and lots of hard work.  Thank goodness I can calm down and everything will be easier when i get in the new house ( built in 1948 with lots of nice old fashioned touches).  sea storm

lighter:
Sea:

At least you're out of your marriage, and know what's yours, and what's not. 

At least you have your money from your mom.

It's a new beginning....

a new garden.....

a new little neighborhood to explore.

I love living in town, and walking to favorite little familiar spots. (Not the case for me now.)

Different, yes, but sometimes starting fresh doesn't have to be sad.

Sometimes it's the best thing that can happen to us, even if we don't know it at the time.

Lighter

Lighter

Hopalong:
Sea,
I'm so excited about your new, little, in-town house (because that's nearly exactly what I've done).

Your descriptions make me yearn to visit you.

SO much beauty. Don't be afraid.

The old bad dreams are going to fade as you keep claiming one more square foot of YOUR place,
YOUR dream, YOUR present, YOUR life. He is nothing. And he is gone. He doesn't matter.

New space for you. And in you. It will open up as surely as the amazing natural world around you is.

love to you
Hops

Meh:
:) The little house with a garden sounds really awesome to me. Moving is stressful!!

I would go for that in a heart beat if it was an option for me.


http://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory/

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