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article of interest

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Ales2:
Interesting article, and I agree to some extent, but I believe more in what Dr. G says, that we keep choosing toxic people until we heal.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/karen-salmansohn/if-you-have-or-had-a-toxi_b_5275934.html?utm_hp_ref=gps-for-the-soul&ir=GPS%20for%20the%20Soul

And, some of us are not choosing these people, we are stuck with them because they are family/relatives we cannot avoid, or they are spouses we chose before we knew better.

"When you know better, you do better"  - Maya Angelou

well, maybe.....

Hopalong:
Fantastic article for me, Ales...thank you.

I realize that unless it's urgent and overflowing,
that it's better for me not to focus my OFF-work
hours in misery over my Nboss. (Or even my D.)

Stuck with Nboss for now, but I have other people
and other interests that do nourish me, outside
of work. Time for that re-focus on my own well-
being and my own joys.

Really appreciated this.
Thanks again,
Hops

Cadbury:
I agree.

The downside for me is that after realising my own choices that led to a succession of N's and psychopaths and generally toxic people, I am now genuinely phobic regarding relationships. I panic if a man shows interest, I am terrified that someone might express interest in me and despite being generally out going and fun to be with (apparently), I avoid situations that might result in a relationship.

Excellent article thank you.

Ales2:
Thanks Cadbury and Hops - Glad it was helpful.

I can totally relate to what you said Hops about the NBoss and finding other outlets for nurturing.

Cadbury, I too am still going through a tough time with people, relationships. I am very weary about meeting new people, completely disinterested and its a very real block socially and in my career as well.

My thought is the tyranny of personal responsibility, if we alone are responsible for what we attract and how we react, I am doomed because I don't attract good people nor do I respond well, so it feels completely hopeless for me.

Hopalong:
I'm struggling with that too.
Recently had a 2nd date with a very nice man, no N red flags so far...
and though I know a relationship is what I want long term...I had
to fight like hell to make myself get ready and go.

Once I did, it was very pleasant and fine.

But sheesh, the avoidance!

Hops

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