Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Still need to work through early trauma
Gaining Strength:
Shame is like a cancerous lesion. It is attached to everything . Sometimes I think I have made progress and other times it seems that the shame is reproducing at a greater rate than I am conquering it.
But I am more encouraged by believing that there is just a lot of it and that my daily battles will one day give way to a critical mass and then the work will be easy peasy.
I have so much work to do. But there is no reason to not do it. And I will triumph.
Gaining Strength:
There are levels of the. I am moving through levels of this. I have just heard my voice say that the shame is paralyzingly. This doesn't sound like an epiphany and yet it is because it came not out of reasoning but out of something deeper and that ISS where the changes comes from.
More later. It is coming up.
Izzy_*now*:
You know, GS, my mothers favourite expression, it appears, was "Shame! Shame! Shame on you!" and I never knew what for! I think it was for everything that I hadn't done perfectly, therefore leaving Shame attached to everything!
Keep on Keeping on.
Iz
Gaining Strength:
Izzy, how awful. I often heard "shame on you." As well but I made sure I never said that to my child. I never wanted him to feel shame - guilt when he had done wrong but never shame.
Gaining Strength:
I had a day of learning yesterday. So much popped up before me opening my eyes to what has been controlling my life for so long. Yet I am reluctant to get going again this morning. I will chalk it up to habit - the long habit of fear of stepping into the shame. I chose to believe good things will come today. It is a totally different way of facing life. Up to now, I have been avoiding the nightmare of living. Hoping (vain hope) for the best but fearing the worst. Not today.
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