Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Still need to work through early trauma

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Gaining Strength:
I'm staving off a spate of depression.  This has been going on for several weeks.  It is quite a battle.  I am taken back to 13 years ago when I could barely get out of the bed.  I would wake at dawn and take an inventory of my body to check and see how gripping the depression was.  I kept a calendar checking to see if the 21 days until the anti-depressant s set in were coming to an end. 

This is a difficult journey but I have been amazed that I have staved the cloud for weeks now, not dipping too low. MIT getting better but not dipping down.  With the coming darkness, I am a bit concerned. But I am persevering.

Hopalong:
The dark (and here, oncoming cold) hit me hard every year too GS...
I'm also girding myself to deal well with winter.

I usually find that the anticiipation's worse than the reality. Though I always
hate coming home from work in the dark--nothing eases that, there are still
bright sunny days, even with snow on the ground, that are amazingly beautiful.
And indoors becomes cozy, and if I'm open to it, a kind of domestic joy can
kick in.

Making soup.

Usually I find once winter is well underway that I have cheerful times too.

I hope you will as well. Your growth and work isn't seasonal, you're in this
for LIFE.

love
Hops

Gaining Strength:
Thanks Hops. Really appreciate yr encouragement.

Gaining Strength:
Time to develop "picture" of how I want my life to be and time to schedule time to focus on these images.

Gaining Strength:
Today I will begin focusing on anti-anticipatory reaction.  That anticipatory fear has been a plague but I think I can get around it and avoidance will be a problem no more.

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