Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Still need to work through early trauma
Gaining Strength:
Bits and pieces still come to me, at times almost daily.
The other day I saw a Program in which a very sick man had exerted stunning mind control over his wife and children. He would come to light when he murdered 9 of his children rather than release the youngest to their mothers ( his nieces.) it would take some of his teenaged children years to see that he was not a loving man worthy of their respect.
This was so helpful to me as I see my own father having blinded me to his warped shortcomings until he began to lose control.
Sunday, Wayne Dyer, did another PBS special. This one had a common focus on the power of the mind and feeling on our own realities. And then, this morning a Harvard professor whose field is mindfulness was on the Diane Rehm Show.
This trifecta redirdcts me to continue on this path toward focusing my thoughts and mind on my strengths while acknowledging my fears and transforming them.these experiences go a long way to encouraging me. That hope and belief and confidence are growing. The outward changes will begin to be evident in time.
It has taken me a very long time to be strong enough to look at my fears and my pain because this agony was intolerable. Bit by bit the pain is more tolerable and that allows me to look at it and process it rather than repress it and run.
That need to repress has been totally tied in with my helplessness. The pain made me feel as though I needed some type of justice, some type of intervention, some acknowledgment. Those longings actually left me in a bad way as I felt dependent on an outside force. Now that I am learning to open up to these lifelong excruciating pain and loss and learning how to process it, I am gaining power and confidence and healing.
Still a long way to go but I am much stronger than I was 6 months ago and even 3 months ago and even 1 month ago.
Ales2:
Thanks for your post GS about the TGiving and loss of brothers relationship. Today as I was walking the phrase necessary loss came into my head and as sad as this is, I do feel these losses are necessary to my growth.
Happy to hear you are doing better in the last couple of months. Much continued success and improvement out of the darkness.
Gaining Strength:
Ales, I agree with you abOut necessary losses. It saddens me but if I just focus on the truth of it then I feel strengthened by it. I love the way you are able to put things in words - succinct and powerful.
Gaining Strength:
My brain stimulator gadget came tonight. I have already given it a whirl. I can hardly wait until morning to do it again. I was amazed that I could feel it working so quickly. The effect can be cumulative. My fingers are crossed. When I did it at the doctors office the effect was stronger after an hour or so. I'll see how this goes.
Ales2:
Im doing terrible today and have been for the last two days. Cant seem to shake this feeling of doom and hopelessness. Cant get motivated and I feel useless to get done what needs to get done. :?
Trying to emotionally override this nonsense.... :?
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