Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Still need to work through early trauma
Gaining Strength:
My never ending analysis drives even me crazy. But still I am driven to analyze and write. I post here to reach out, be understood, and connect but I also write here to work things out. This post is some of both though I am tired of analyzing. It has gotten me nowhere across the years.
All of my hope is on mindfulness. Of course that is antithetical to the whole process - coming to it with a purpose.
The psain and self hatred is so overwhelming, so debilitating, so paralyzing. I move into being mindful to connect in a way I have been unable to so far in this interminal life. I do not want to die as I have live - locked in a life of failure bound up in longing, vision and unrequited hope..
Gaining Strength:
Rejection - the most horrific wounding.
Just to return to the womb and emerge into a loving, encouraging world. I could flourish.
Gaining Strength:
Rejection is shaming. Healing elusive.
With rejection every failure is an opportunity to kick a dog while he is down. No one helps a down dog up.
Hopalong:
No one? NO ... that is part of the wounding.
There are legions who can mbrace you, GS, and offer strong arms to tug on.
We're a few but willing and there are more...
Most of all, it's the friend/s within whom you have been so stalwartly engaging
so much for such a long time now. I so hope you will not dismiss your mighty
and determined new inner self...don't let a wave of blues be confused with the
healing ocean you have discovered.
You HAVE found her and you HAVE spoken to her with kindness and determination
and compassion.
Don't let that new light-full you be hushed now!
love
Hops
Gaining Strength:
Thanks Hops. I know you are right on one level and yet on another, where my inner feelings seem to be in charge, it is the sense that overruns. I am wondering how to change tracks. There is a way. I just can't see the path yet.
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