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Still need to work through early trauma

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Gaining Strength:
My vision and understanding increase almost day by day. And with it grows my tolerance if pain. It feels so slow but looking back the weeks of steady healing are significant against the decades of progressive illness.

Bit by bit, my awareness increases and I am able to apply the calm of the moment against the agony of anticipated failure or expected criticism. The balm if the present is beginning to seep in.

Gaining Strength:
I feel these fears in specific places in my body.  Today i am really struggling to do the meditations the sense of irritation is especially high.  I am trying to face it by imagining myself receiving the compassion I needed at th
E time.  But it is still difficult to let go and allow myself to go back into that time and feel the original pain of rejection. I see how I got myself into some difficult times and places because of the need and longing to belong. I would accept "belonging" from people who I didn't really want to belong with and it was very confusing and uncomfortable.  It is such a strange experience to go back and feel this..very unpleasant.  More so for re experiencing the very painful longing I had at that time, the longing to belong which was completely unconscious because I thought that I did. Such a source of neurosis.

Hopalong:
I love this, and it is going to help me.


--- Quote ---I am able to apply the calm of the moment
--- End quote ---

Thank you, ((((GS))))

love
Hops

Gaining Strength:
Lol -Garbanzo.  Hops is poetic but I seem to drone on.

Gaining Strength:
We need a "like" or "thumbs up."

I would like to "like" your post Hops.

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