Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Writing Letters

<< < (2/2)

lighter:
Tupp:

Whatever you decide, it won't hurt to write those letters, then decide if you'll send them.

If you do decide to send them, writing with compassion for your mother (to the Aunt), and as little finger pointing as can be managed in telling such a wicked tale, will likely get you more traction than if you have a judgmental angry tone.

You can choose to leave the end of that letter open, without expectation or action, and that could help as well.

Sometimes people advocate for us ONLY if we don't advocate for ourselves.

In your case, you're advocating for your darling boy, so it may be possible to say things you couldn't say for yourself, and not get dismissed or punished for saying them.

::shrug::

I'm not sure, but I think it would help to just write the letters, even if you never send them.

Lighter

Ales2:
Twoapenny - I agree with what everyone has said here. I would write the letter, sending is another decision.

Its interesting that you state your mum says she adores you, but you dont speak to her. Once she receives the letters it puts issues on the table quickly and it might force a change of that position. Be aware of that. Also possible that they might never respond and most likely deny any existence of the letters. Would you be OK with that if it happens? I would imagine that would be infuriating and invalidating, but would tell you more about her willingness to be involved in what is important to you.

Anyway, I am having a similar problem with my NMom and have typed a letter that sits on my laptop, ready to send if the issue arises again. She keeps wanting me to write her a letter, which I imagine she will show to others and use against me, so it has to be done with extreme caution.  Wording and compassion will matter alot, so do make that a consideration. You may also never know who else sees or reads the letter, even if she denies she gave it to others. These Ns are deceitful, sneaky and malicious...I know you know, just expect the unexpected backlash with them.

Also, Hops, I am also estranged from my brother for his outright insults and verbal abuse towards me and his decision that we no longer exchange xmas gifts. (I buy 5 for him, wife and 3 kids) he buys ONE for me. Lots of work on his part, so he thought it easier to forgo xmas.

Good luck with the letters,
Ales2

 :)

Gaining Strength:
Ales2 - I lived that 3 for 1 exchange of Xmas gifts with 2 brothers for years ( not to mention b-days.) Quite frustrating as I was struggling financially and they were not.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page