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Hopalong:
I wonder if you could do some couples counseling with the goal
of dealing with his clutter and its effects on your relationship?

I so wish there could be some healing in this area, because in
so many other ways, you've said what a love he is.

(((((((((((((((((((((((PR))))))))))))))))

Hops

sKePTiKal:
Non Sequitor warning:

Heard a snippet while passing in front of the "picture box"... they were talking about how men/women get early conditioning to be "doing" or "feeling", first in their attentions. Someone said that babies that are touched more often... choose/prefer "feeling" as their instinctive "state"... and then, that was extrapolated to mean that from the very beginning us females were touched more and oriented and expected to be more emotional.

I immediately thought that generalizations like this are exactly how urban myths are created. I'm the "do-er" and hubs is the "feel-er" in our particular dance. Sometimes I think we both realize the limitations of the "tape will self-destruct, should you choose to accept this mission" implication in roles or labels. This "thing" in our relationship is both symbolic of "past baggage" from other relationships... and precisely why this one is different.

Gaining Strength:
Makes sense to me.  Most generalizations have broad application but the problem becomes in the expectation that EVERYONE fit into those paradigms.  That makes things oh so difficult for those that are (what I call) at the bell curve's edge, I.e. Not fitting the norm.

E.g.  People just don't get that all parents don't want the best for their offspring.  It isn't the norm so it doesn't compute for most people.

I have usually been in a 10% category for kist everything.  It makes it grad to fit in.

lighter:

--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on September 24, 2014, 07:09:11 AM ---....... in our relationship is both symbolic of "past baggage" from other relationships... and precisely why this one is different.

--- End quote ---


Amber:

I don't have any advice, but 2 friends are having what appears to be life changing movement through "old baggage", and what they describe as energetic problems in their lives.  One said his marriage was saved, and one has moved out of terrible, debilitating depression.

That said, the help they received came from an RN practicing what she calls EMOTION AND BODY CODE.  You may have someone near you with a practice, though I can't say it would make sense to you, or be helpful.  I think for some people it identifies problems that are generational, structural, emotional, etc. and helps one.... release it..... not sure I understand enough to say what it does, but wanted to say I've heard really good things recently about it, and it might be something you and your husband might find useful.

I was told it's not a long term treatment plan, or expensive.  Let us know if you check it out.

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