Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
my favorite instrument
Hopalong:
Oh gosh, Sea.
What a moving description of survivors who washed ashore at similar times and are making their own shelter...there may be gaps in the driftwood but it has weathered beauty. I felt the reality of the shelter they find in each other. It sounds like a group I'd enjoy a lot, especially the opera.
As to you, if you keep an eye on your well-being and remember that creating and kindly asserting good boundaries for yourself will keep you well. Well enough to be in your own compassionate castle, with enough energy left to invite another soul across the drawbridge now and then.
But don't be the therapist i you don't want to. It's not the only default. You don't have to let your kind heart move you straight into rescue mode. You can listen warmly but still with some lightness of heart, even detachment, to keep you and them safe. One-way friendships don't work out very well, and you deserve healthy relationships.
It's taken a long time for me to learn to enjoy light, non-intense connections with people, too.
love
Hops
Meh:
....Hopalong Cassidy was before my time, I will take your word for it....
Hopalong:
What I guess I like about it is the sound-humor of the word itself.
It acquires some "dash" next to "Cassidy" but on balance, it's absurd.
I like the word's rollicking gentle goofiness, I think.
Maybe I have an inner bunny wabbit crossed with an imaginary hero.
Ha!
Hops
Worn:
Hearing the two of you talk about your beliefs warms my heart. :-) I also hold my own "ocean of hope".
I love how you've both talked about being part of a community. I am currently working towards taking the steps to have that in my life. Our local UU church is one of the communities I'm considering joining. I've realized that I have become cut off from almost any sense of a community for a long time. I have friendships, but they are scattered here and there and I want the feeling of a group coming together in fellowship. A group working together towards a goal. Being part of a team. Belonging with people.
I was thinking just recently about how healthy boundaries not only keep harmful things out, they also allow good things to come in.
Sea, I second Hops vote on you not being required to be the neighborhood therapist. That is above your pay grade. ;-) Worn
Edit: I'm not saying you aren't capable Sea! Just that they don't pay you enough to do it. :-)
sea storm:
really great to read your responses. The group is a bit too dark for me. They get bombed and reveal all this stuff and then when they sober up they are shut down completely and masks are up again. Wouldn't it be great if they could open up a bit if they were sober.
There is some dynamic where they resent me not drinking. I can't drink for health reasons but it gets them triggered and saying" oh I am not an alcoholic". As if I am the judge of that or would want to be.
I remember not being able to open up without a drink. Or five. It seemed incomprehensible to me to not drink if I wanted to have a good conversation.
Also I don't have good boundaries. I end up being the confessor for them. I don' t want to be in that role and you are right the cost is too high. I actually like to have fun and play occasionally. I probably need to join a church or something but it is such a small town and there is not much choice. Mostly pretty right wingish. I sound like a snob.
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