Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Saying Hi
Hopalong:
Sounds like a lot of fun, Ligther.
If I had the bucks, I'd be a flipper!
:)
Hops
lighter:
Hops:
We finish the upstairs renovation tomorrow..... 10 days in. Whoo hoo... Mr. Toad's wild ride.
I've never seen a man work like this contractor works....... Refreshing really; )
Electrician comes tomorrow to discuss kitchen renovation.
It's all good.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Hops and Lighter, I've been reading all your housey stuff and it sounds amazing :) Isn't it funny how we sort of deal with ourselves and then, once all that 'stuff' is out the way, we can start to build nests and make ourselves comfy in them. Looking forward to hearing more as it happens.
The real world is doing alright by me at the moment. I have realised that I have simply outgrown a lot of people that I know. I want to spend as much of my time as possible either with people who make me feel really good, for whatever reason, or by myself (I don't mean people that make me feel good in a sycophantic way but people who are interesting, or kind, or funny, or just have that nice easy air about them). I am getting better and better at saying no thanks to people who drain and make me feel tired or on edge. And interestingly I think I am developing a bit of a Teflon coating; I find myself more and more thinking that what people say and do is about them, not me, and that's a big difference.
We are still looking to move this year; we'll be staying in the UK for the time being but still hoping/planning for overseas in the long term. I think one thing that I've learnt over the last forty years of dealing with my mum is that I'm not going to spend the next forty years doing things because I ought to. I want to live my life, and love as much of it as I can. I endured it for so long that I really want to grab it with both hands now. So things are definitely moving in the right direction, slowly but surely. I have even been trying online dating again - it's not going well, to be honest, but I do feel at least that I'm taking a step in the right direction there as well (we'll see!).
I met up with someone tonight (female) who I was incredibly close to about twenty years ago. We came from similar (abusive) families and were both very into drugs/men/wild times and so on. We went on different paths; I tried to sort myself out and make something of my life and my friend got deeper and deeper into drugs, bad relationships, abusive boyfriends and so on. I haven't seen her for about ten years as I felt she was stopping me from sorting myself out - I don't mean in a deliberate way but she really used to trigger my desire to rescue people and look after them and I knew I needed to get out of that. But our paths crossed again recently and we spent some time together tonight. I came away feeling so sad. She's a shadow of her former self, the drugs have obviously done a lot of damage over the years and she has very little to look forward to in life at the moment (hopefully that can change for her). But it made me so thankful that I made those, at times, very painful choices to deal with 'stuff' and do the counselling and the crying and the journalling and the sitting at home on my own rather than putting up with relationships that weren't good for me, or falling into the bottom of a bottle. Such a funny world that some people have the strength to push through it and some just can't manage it. She looks fragile and so very tired. So a sad evening in a way but I'm glad we've reconnected and been able to spend some time together again. Things going full circle, perhaps.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Butterfly on June 28, 2015, 05:28:27 PM ---Hi, Tup. So glad to hear you are filling your life with good things.
--- End quote ---
Hi Butterfly! :) It's nice to be able to say that I'm filling my life with good things! It's nice that there are good things to fill it with :) How are things with you? xx
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