Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Anyone here diagnosed as Borderline?

<< < (2/2)

Overcomer:
This is interesting.  During my "break down" at 42 I was a yelling, slamming doors, hysterical, depressed person and my mom's psychologist labelled me as Borderline.  That hurt because the real thing that was happening was my reaction to being "raised" by a controlling narcissistic person.

Later I emailed the psychologist and point blank told him he did not do his due diligence and based his diagnosis of me on her description of me.  I told him if he had listened to me and heard both sides of the story he may have figured out that she was a narcissist who gaslighted me and had everyone believing I was the problem.

To this day nmom keeps her mouth shut and never EVER lets anyone but me and my brother (and my kids) see the real her.  She just got remarried after we lost my dad and I think her husband is probably learning the hard way what a bitch she can be!!  She probably makes it all better by screwing his brains out!!!  (My brother told me she has always used sex to control our dad.......he is 5 years older than me so saw a lot more than I did growing up....)

Now I just smile and nod.  I don't muddy the waters around her.  She often talks about how it is so nice that we are better after we had such a rough patch.........to me it wasn't a rough patch it was me breaking free from the straight jacket life I had with her!

sea storm:
Who wants to be a borderline?   Nobody. This is not  a label to be thrown around. So often people who are abusing others label the person nuts or out of their minds or borderline. One the other hand god help the person who is involved with a person who is genuinely borderline. It would be a rough ride: one minute being treated like a princess and the next like the creature from the Black Lagoon.  Because of their deep insecurities and suffering they sometimes feel entitled to rip the rug out from under people. Launch law suits, defame them, yell at them and demand to be heard. Volatile and easily triggered.

As for Borderline being a label that sticks with someone for life, I don't think feminists are rallying around validating that idea. If we lived in a more cohesive, validating and connected culture that showed compassion for victims and people who have been mauled by life there would be a different paradigm altogether. I read an article by Sebastian Unger in Vanity Fair and he talks about  post traumatic stress in soldiers.  In other cultures soldiers go through the horrors of war and are healed from the horror by returning to their cultures that are nurturing and loving.  Soldiers are happier at war, than in coming home to the emotional dessert of our culture.
Maybe "borderlines" are the canaries in the cold mine who signal a culture that is not supportive. Try being loving as a school teacher. Is it validated or is their constant pressure to keep up the stats and demonstate progress, set up impossible goals and march the kids through what you know is a destructive scenario designed to produce conformity?

If your mother says you are borderline .......... your mother is a very sick puppy. Don't think about it for one second. Jetison the whole thing. The psychologist was out to lunch probably bending over backwards to validate your mother. There is no making sense of this kind of behaviour. You can only survive by not buying into the whole thing.

I don't know how you just smile and nod. This is very hard stuff to take. What is the price of just smiling?  If you are a genuine buddha goddess ok but otherwise .... what are you really feeling and thinking. I know I do this too, just to get along.  Somehow I know it isn't good for me. I go out and eat a whole pumpkin pie or drive through a stop sign.

Sea

Ales2:
Sea -  I complained about his conduct and treatment and suddenly I had a "diagnosis."  I may/may not have BPD. ( I can recognize some traits I have that my apply, but I lived with a borderline and that is completely different than what I have done or experienced). It may be a legal defense, but now he has to explain to the Board why he never diagnosed or treated me and why it took me five years to get a diagnosis. All I wanted was closure - which I got.


Overcomer - I hear the underlying issue in BPD is invalidation and for Children of NParents, when therapists with myopic vision cant see all the stressors and can misdiagnose BPD.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page