Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How Honest Do You Think I Should Be?
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on September 18, 2015, 05:26:21 PM ---Well, I've got a different thought. Doesn't mean it's a useful thought though!
I am thinking that rather than run screaming from this man-with-same-name-as-hideous-abuser-stepfather and renounce all men forthwith...
you deserve to OPEN UP your life and not let that f***ing stepfather own ONE MORE MOMENT of your precious birthright to happiness.
So I advocate, telling the nice-man-with-unfortunate-name--"This is hard to mention, but I had an abusive stepdad who shares your name.
Would it be okay if I called you...Billy?" (Or any ordinary nickname for his name.)
Then keep seeing him. And don't give up on the male half of the human race, most of whom bear zero resemblance to that a**h***.
Make any sense?
love,
Hops
--- End quote ---
He never replied to my last email anyway Hopsie, the trouble I find is it isn't my head that's the problem but the physical effects - vomiting, panic attacks, palpitations and so on. I get such an intense physical reaction in these situations that I just can't manage that and real life as well. I'll get there in the end. There's lots of blokes out there who don't remind me of him, but someone with the same name, just too much. I started laughing as I typed this because the lady next door is outside screaming "shit, Brian, the lawnmower's on fire" :) Life goes on :) xx
Hopalong:
Oh, man.
I'm sorry hon. I didn't realize how intense the anxiety is.
I truly feel for you (had horrible panic attacks for years).
I hope a gentle fella appears sometime when you are ready and not a moment before.
love
Hops
Meh:
:(
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on September 19, 2015, 02:33:47 PM ---Oh, man.
I'm sorry hon. I didn't realize how intense the anxiety is.
I truly feel for you (had horrible panic attacks for years).
I hope a gentle fella appears sometime when you are ready and not a moment before.
love
Hops
--- End quote ---
((((((((Hops))))))))) Thank you, it's all good, I am definitely moving in the right direction, part of getting out there in the real world means coming into contact with triggers and I'm strong enough to manage it now, just not too much all the time but that will change. I'm just doing what I can, when it gets a bit much I go back into my shell for a while, it is working and those intense periods of anxiety don't last as long now, it takes a lot more to trigger them (used to happen when I saw a truck like his and as he drives a very common vehicle that was very frequent!) and I know what's going on now so I just try to ride it out, but equally it makes sense not to go to overboard with it all! I think the fact I was able to be honest about it is a big step in the right direction, there was a time when I'd have just shut down that account and not used it again (or not gone back to that place or visited that person depending on the situation). I do find I can be a bit more direct now which is all good.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Garbanzo on September 20, 2015, 12:48:13 AM ---:(
--- End quote ---
I'm still chuckling about those adverts on OKCupid, G, what a world we live in :) Have you spoken to any nice guys on there yet? x
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