Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How Honest Do You Think I Should Be?
Meh:
Nah Two, I go on there out of boredom and just kind of an inner sadness of being alone. After surfing okcupid for a while I then often feel repulsed and appreciate being single and not having to deal with dudes.
I suck at relationships and I guess I lack the comfort with it and motivation to do it.
Since it's all out of context it also really IS a big gamble, those guys could be anybody.
There should be an online dating service where everybody agrees to some kind of private investigative background check. All the members would be a bit more legit I think.
I find a large majority of dudes are wanting sex right out of the starting gates. Luck has it that I also find most of those guys physically repugnant.
Really I punish myself by going on there.
Twoapenny:
I know what you mean, I've chatted to some nice people but have blocked more than I've chatted to. I do hear stories about people meeting their true love online, in all honesty I'm in much the same boat as you, I'd rather meet someone in a 'real' situation but I don't get the chance to go out without my son very often and picking up men with your child in tow is very naff! I am trying hard to 'love myself' which I always cringe at because it sounds a bit New Age but I am aware I need to focus on filling my life up with more things I love to do and just generally feeling better about myself. Online dating is a bit like window shopping but I still prefer to meet people in the flesh because you get the whole impression of them; I do think people give off a vibe and you can feel more about them face to face; when they write about themselves it's a different thing altogether - and yep, pictures can be very deceiving! :) x
Meh:
hugs :) Eh who knows maybe there is a peace in solitude. I don't often envy people in relationships it's just ughhh. Growing up I often looked at my mother and didn't understand why she liked the guys she was with and I always said to myself that I would never be like her.
When I think about all the women who have ever found themselves stuck in a relationship since the beginning of mankind... I feel like I am living some past woman's dream of "freedom" to be alone and single.
I could see how it would be even more challenging with kids, but you know what at a certain age a lot of guys already have kids from previous relationships also.
Meh:
Feh I mean honestly I don't think relationships are likely to make people happy.
Its old but still...
I mean all these types of articles : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1282851/Six-10-couples-unhappy-relationship.html
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Garbanzo on September 22, 2015, 12:54:26 AM ---hugs :) Eh who knows maybe there is a peace in solitude. I don't often envy people in relationships it's just ughhh. Growing up I often looked at my mother and didn't understand why she liked the guys she was with and I always said to myself that I would never be like her.
When I think about all the women who have ever found themselves stuck in a relationship since the beginning of mankind... I feel like I am living some past woman's dream of "freedom" to be alone and single.
I could see how it would be even more challenging with kids, but you know what at a certain age a lot of guys already have kids from previous relationships also.
Yeah I don't know that I'm really cut out for relationships either, most people I know put up with behaviour that I couldn't be bothered with and the women always seem to make a lot more sacrifices than their male partners (although saying that I know a same sex couple where one rules the roost and the other does as she's told so I guess it's not just male/female relationships). I find it hard to meet people who have a balance that is right for me - good fun but able to be serious/sensible when needed, laid back but moving forward - if that makes sense? Spontaneous but not irresponsible. Good at reading people but not having that need to jump in and tell people what to do? I get quite irritated by fairly small things, I find. I find racism so offensive and it's rife in the UK at the moment, and even that I find I read something someone said (this is the downside of Facebook, you get to see corners of people's minds that you don't want to know about) and I find something in me just switches off and I don't want to be around them again. Anyway - I've decided that I'm worn out, stressed out and doing too much at the minute so I've decided to dedicate the winter to my health and to relaxing and recharging my batteries. So my internet dating profile will be coming down, I want to stop munching biscuits and comfort eating chips, get more exercise, get more sleep (or at least more time in bed if not more sleep), top up my vitamins, spend some time doing things I love (sewing - not good at it but I like it. Writing - so many ideas for books and stories that I never do anything with. Craft - usually looks like an enthusiastic five year old has had a go but I enjoy it and want to do more of it. Might teach myself guitar). And just focus on me. I think I realised that I still feel I need other people to make me acceptable? If this guy dates me it means I'm okay, if these people are my friends it means I'm a nice person. So I think I need to work on me liking me a bit more? I still get waves of absolute self revulsion at times, very strong, so I think I need to deal with that. I've started trying to meditate a little bit each day, just stuff I found in YouTube, but there's a group starting up near me in a few weeks time so I think I'm going to go along to that and have a go. I'm so tired all the time! It's not a normal state to be in :) Anyway, G, are you up to much over the weekend? x
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