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Job Hunt -- what it takes
Hopalong:
Hi everybody.
I am aware that this job hunt, at 65, may be different than previous ones. And I need courage and some cheering on if anyone's of a mind. I'm trying to be as positive as I can but noticing that I have some real anxiety kicking in. Not panic attack level, but lack of sleep and just some fearful thinking. I try to detour those thoughts as fast as I can.
I know I'll be okay one way or another. What's a little scary about the upcoming trip is that I feel so MUCH is riding on it. (Safely paying off my house without bankrupting my tiny retirement nest egg to do it. Having something substantial enough that I won't be in pure worry mode all the time.) I have a whole lot on the line for this interview.
The man I'm meeting (other side of the country) is a competitor to Nboss and actually loathes him (for pretty good reasons). I can tell from our single conversation on the phone that he's pretty interested in picking my brains for things that will reveal either unethical behavior or advantages on the part of Nboss.
I get that, and competition is fine. But I have a little bit of worry that he'll ply me for whatever he can get but not really intend to offer me a significant position or gig. He might be willing and ready to hire me, but there's no guarantee. So I need to be able to navigate our discussion in a fairly shrewd way, while still being honest, so I don't give all my knowledge away for nothing.
The other thing is that I'll be up at 4am for a 630am flight, arriving noon their time but 3pm my time, touring the factory in the afternoon and then having dinner with him. So by the time we get into the delicate talks, I'll be exhausted.
I'm no spring chicken and I know what travel to CA is like. I'll bull through but I'm worried about losing my edge and being mentally and physically off my game at the time I need to perform my best. I suppose I could take my ADD med (a stimulant, which I've bascially gone off of) around mid-afternoon. But then I have to fly back early the next morning (unless he extends my visit one more day).
I can do this. But I'm scared, so wanted to just reach out for encouragement.
Thanks for listening...
love
Hops
Twoapenny:
Aw Hops.
First off, I think it's natural to be scared. Any kind of change can be scary, and sometimes more if it 'might' be good change, something that brings us an amazing situation, better than we had ever hoped for.
The first thing I wondered is whether the new man might consider changing the flights so you can get in the day before you meet him and be a bit fresher and more rested before your chat? I don't know if that's feasible; if it might mean you paying for an extra hotel night yourself or an admin charge for changing the flights but it might be worth just being honest (I'd be knackered after an early start and a shift in time zone and I'm twenty years younger! So I think it's reasonable that you'd want to give him your best.)
I don't know enough about your field of work to suggest ways that you manage talking to him but I do know that you're intelligent, articulate and a very fair and diligent person. I know that you won't just sit there and run your old boss into the ground; that's just not who you are. I don't know how best to suggest handling negotiations re a job offer and/or anything else that might come up but I do know that you can do that sort of thing with your eyes closed and I know that when you're there you will handle everything professionally and courteously, as you do with everything else.
I tend to take the approach now that if something big doesn't come off it's because something more suitable is coming up. It doesn't always show itself for a while, though, which is the bit I find frustrating. So what I think - and I know this is what you'll do anyway - is that, if you can fly a day earlier that would be good. But if not, the best you can do, under the circumstances, is the best you can do, and your best is better than most other people's, I think. We will all be thinking of you and rooting for you. Cyber hugs coming your way and buckets of encouragement. Lots of love xxx (and confidence that this will work out the right way for you xx).
Hopalong:
Thanks, Tupp.
Part of the problem is that it's the middle of the holidays and flights are jammed.
I just don't know that I can ask him to rearrange the schedule for my rest...partly because I'm concerned it'll be telegraphing a message that I'm too old to consider. He already asked me on the phone why if I was no longer at previous company I'm not deciding just to retire and enjoy myself. He is older than I am. So age is on his own mind. (I simply told him I am "not done" and have a lot more to contribute to the industry.)
I don't know if it's some kind of endurance test, or if he's hoping to negotiate with me when I am at the end of such a long day, or what. Or if he's just thoughtless. So I think I'm stuck with what they've scheduled. Or, it might be that flights were impossible.
Either way it's not an ideal situation for making a strong impression and negotiating with my wits about me. A friend just told me that my adrenalin will kick in and I'll get through the whole day (and evening) just fine.
I hope she's right. I feel out of shape, anxious and frail. NOT the impression I want to give. I did go buy new clothes and will get a good haircut.
The rest is a wing and a prayer.
Thank you, Tupp. I really do need encouragement right now.
love
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on December 24, 2015, 11:30:19 AM ---Thanks, Tupp.
Part of the problem is that it's the middle of the holidays and flights are jammed.
I just don't know that I can ask him to rearrange the schedule for my rest...partly because I'm concerned it'll be telegraphing a message that I'm too old to consider. He already asked me on the phone why if I was no longer at previous company I'm not deciding just to retire and enjoy myself. He is older than I am. So age is on his own mind. (I simply told him I am "not done" and have a lot more to contribute to the industry.)
I don't know if it's some kind of endurance test, or if he's hoping to negotiate with me when I am at the end of such a long day, or what. Or if he's just thoughtless. So I think I'm stuck with what they've scheduled. Or, it might be that flights were impossible.
Either way it's not an ideal situation for making a strong impression and negotiating with my wits about me. A friend just told me that my adrenalin will kick in and I'll get through the whole day (and evening) just fine.
I hope she's right. I feel out of shape, anxious and frail. NOT the impression I want to give. I did go buy new clothes and will get a good haircut.
The rest is a wing and a prayer.
Thank you, Tupp. I really do need encouragement right now.
love
Hops
--- End quote ---
I think your friend is right about the adrenalin and something I've realised over the years is that how I feel often isn't the way I come across. That can be a good or a bad thing depending on the situation! But I'd hazard a guess that even if you're not feeling your best it won't be obvious to him. Completely understand what you're saying about the flights, these things aren't always easy to alter! Do you think he booked things up or would it have been a secretary? I'm just wondering if he's even aware of what the schedule is from your point of view (I don't mean that from a point of view of trying to get him to change but if someone else booked it it perhaps knocks out some of those nagging questions?).
Go get em! The way I see it, Hops, is worse case scenario, your situation is the same after your trip as it is now. Best case scenario it will be a whole lot better? I don't know if there are inbetween options? You have handled things that are far more difficult than this and I know you'll cope with the situation, however it unfolds, even if you're not feeling great about it. Great that you're getting new clothes and a haircut, too! Is there anything you can plan for yourself for when you get back as a little treat or downtime? Sending positive thoughts your way xxx
Meh:
Good Luck Hops. You obviously are qualified. Everything else though is a random act of god. imo
This has been a long time coming, this seeking of what else is out there.
Often the way one perceives the self is not the same as what others see. You might feel frail. Frailty etc is not what you project and it's not what he will see. They are seeing an asset.
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