Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Job Hunt -- what it takes
Hopalong:
Thank you so much, Lighter and Skep.
I just got a phone call from Nboss and my blood ran cold. I said I preferred not to speak to him but my former other colleague is welcome to contact me any time. He said, "okay" and I hung up. I emailed former colleague and told him that.
I can't imagine any reason Nboss would call except to pressure or bribe me to do what he wants. I have not signed his piddling and offensive severance offer (it includes me renouncing unemployment and promising never to speak negatively about the company or "any of its officers"). To me it's dirty money and would mean that I would forever be looking over my shoulder if I try to get work in any other company in the industry. He is so vicious that if he ever saw a statement on another company's website that he could even pretend originated with me, he'd sue me as a hobby. (I never signed any employment contract, non-disclosure or non-compete agreement when I was hired. They adopted the practice with new employees later.)
I filed my unemployment claim the other day. It's about 2/3 of his little offer, over time, in maximum. But I'd rather use that to survive for a couple months more, than take another filthy penny from him.
But it disturbs me that as an organism, I reacted with fear to the sound of his voice. (Today is a few days past the deadline to sign the agreement. That's probably the reason he called. Shudder.)
love
Hops
Hopalong:
AND Boat.
I so hope you're right!
Last thing the other man told me was that he'd be talking to his Board about me end of week.
So it's Saturday.
I sure hope he follows up soon.
Angst,
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on January 09, 2016, 12:54:20 PM ---Thank you so much, Lighter and Skep.
I just got a phone call from Nboss and my blood ran cold. I said I preferred not to speak to him but my former other colleague is welcome to contact me any time. He said, "okay" and I hung up. I emailed former colleague and told him that.
I can't imagine any reason Nboss would call except to pressure or bribe me to do what he wants. I have not signed his piddling and offensive severance offer (it includes me renouncing unemployment and promising never to speak negatively about the company or "any of its officers"). To me it's dirty money and would mean that I would forever be looking over my shoulder if I try to get work in any other company in the industry. He is so vicious that if he ever saw a statement on another company's website that he could even pretend originated with me, he'd sue me as a hobby. (I never signed any employment contract, non-disclosure or non-compete agreement when I was hired. They adopted the practice with new employees later.)
I filed my unemployment claim the other day. It's about 2/3 of his little offer, over time, in maximum. But I'd rather use that to survive for a couple months more, than take another filthy penny from him.
But it disturbs me that as an organism, I reacted with fear to the sound of his voice. (Today is a few days past the deadline to sign the agreement. That's probably the reason he called. Shudder.)
love
Hops
--- End quote ---
I think you're absolutely right not to sign anything he wants you to Hops, or to have any sort of further contact with him. Feeling scared of someone is horrible but you handled it beautifully, as you always do. Someone told me once to remember that fear is a good thing; it's your internal system screaming "Run for your life!" and getting you out of a dangerous situation. I know it stops being helpful if it interfers with your day to day life but I think you've got good reason to find him scary, to be honest, he sounded like a complete nightmare and it might be that you being free of him means your internal system is breathing a sigh of relief and letting out some feelings that you've had to just manage in order to be able to cope with working for the idiot.
Hopefully you will never have cause to have to hear his voice again; he's got no hold over you now (and I bet he knows that!). Sending you all things positive and lovely :) xx
Hopalong:
Thank you, Tupp.
That makes so much sense.
I'm accustomed to writing off my fears as mere neurosis (as they are about paperwork, the other thread).
But you're right. In this instance feeling long pent-up fear makes perfect sense.
A severe, maybe even sociopathic, narcissist with unlimited money and a penchant for punishment...
why wouldn't a sane person step back?
Whew.
You're right again, that I held back the fear so many years.
In every way except financial I feel so much better. Coming back to life.
Love
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on January 09, 2016, 01:47:00 PM ---Thank you, Tupp.
That makes so much sense.
I'm accustomed to writing off my fears as mere neurosis (as they are about paperwork, the other thread).
But you're right. In this instance feeling long pent-up fear makes perfect sense.
A severe, maybe even sociopathic, narcissist with unlimited money and a penchant for punishment...
why wouldn't a sane person step back?
Whew.
You're right again, that I held back the fear so many years.
In every way except financial I feel so much better. Coming back to life.
Love
Hops
--- End quote ---
I am so glad you are coming back to life! Financial stuff is scary. Having been through very lean periods myself I live pretty frugally and save as much as I can. It isn't a fortune but it's the difference between being able to manage a disaster and being utterly without support, which is tough. When we move (yay!) my reserve fund will be depleted and I know I'll feel anxious about that until it starts to build up a little again. I know how 'up' on these sort of matters you are so I'm sure you've put yourself in the best position possible and that 'something' will see you through, hopefully with a spring in your step! But I know I find those 'I don't know how this will pan out' periods difficult, I am rooting for you! And sending "Back off, sunbeam" vibes to ex Boss who I think you are right to be afraid of as he's always seemed like a thoroughly unpleasant character. I was thinking that your situation with him, the way you spoke to him in that final meeting, might have given some of the less assertive employees a bit of courage to start looking for something else or to look after themselves a bit better - I wouldn't be suprised to find other people felt the way you did but didn't feel able to talk about it. You might just have started a small scale revolution and not know about it yet :) xx
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