Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

NEW JOB!

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Gaining Strength:
Very happy for you Hops.  Well deserved too.

Ales2:
 :D

This is wonderful news Hops! Well deserved!

I look at this way - you always worked hard and kept your head up and took the high road! That is smart and practical! You are in an excellent position to say "I can work well/collaborate/manage/fill in the blank with anyone and get results"  and actually have the experience, skills and tenacity for that to be a complete and true statement. Take confidence in that!

On the "woo" side, what you did was "passing the test" and "blooming where you were planted" and you did it well. God/The Universe/Karma/Synchronicity/Law of Attraction, whatever you choose to call it/believe in, recognizes that.  You didn't quit, or crumble or turn malicious or manipulative and thus, good things came your way.

You made my day as well - I came here just to see how much progress I have made and was happy to see you have moved on as well! Lets hope 2016 brings good to us all here at the Board!

All the best to you Hops and everyone here!

Hopalong:
Oh bless y'all. Every one. And long-missed GS and Ales, thank you
for chiming in! Tupp, Boat, Lighter...your good wishes warm my heart. Thank you.

Ales...you give me way too much credit, though. Though I mostly
contained it, I was swallowing so much malice toward Nboss that
by the end I felt as though it really did sicken and change me.

Still. I am rebuilding my sense of security, shaking off the PSTD (well,
lower-case ptsd, to not disrespect vets) of spending 8 years with him.
I will start liking myself better after a time of dealing with benign folks.
The oldsters and my coworkers too.

I really do think I'm beyond Nboss' reach now. But I'm not eager for
him to hear about my new job, as I wouldn't put it past him to
try to undermine it. Somehow I think even his special powers
don't reach that far, though. I'm respected in the community (and
my face and voice are still all in the TV ads, which is funny...people
mention it to me all the time--he hasn't replaced me yet!).

Comforted myself today by reading about cults, so often headed
by Ns. And I realize that I really did see him for what he was, and
fought back against the mind games as hard as I could. Not one
soul (save my officemate, and even he's cut me off for now) from
my workplace of all those years has dared reach out to me. (Nboss
made it clear "there would be no benefit" in staying in touch.) He
rules by fear, manipulation and distortion and I am so so so well
rid of him.

Thanks for all the support and your congratulations, which mean
so much to me after how you've all listened to my victim bleating
for so long.

love
Hops

Ales2:
Hops - I know you feel like you complained and were victim bleating, but sometimes the solutions seem simple, but the feelings are hard. Or the insecurity of the situation wears us down and into fear mode which inhibits good decision making. You made good decisions. Take the credit - complaining on this board is a good outlet and a constructive one. If you were malicious, you could have twittered about evil NBoss. :)

Your description of "swallowing malice" intrigues me... I wonder if there is any way to deal with that problem. I can relate to feeling permanently changed or defeated by these people and making it harder to move on... Wish I had an answer to that one.  I know some new-age people talk about "cutting cords" and letting things go... but how does one actually do that besides changing jobs and phone numbers or similar things in the external world. What about the internal world?

Anyway, glad to hear you are moving forward. Enjoy your new place and make it a success!

lighter:
Victim bleating?

It was survival bleating.

When I think back on the creepy meetings he called, the way he wanted you to expose yourself emotionally to that pet sycophant of his..... how he handicapped you, sabotaged you, assigning himself head pubah mediator over everyone, like it or not.... 

honestly, it gives me chills.

And you stood up to him.  Amazing.

You did that, and you talked about it here so you didn't implode. 

No bleating about it.

You vented, and coped, and overcame.

I'm glad you're out of there, Hops.

Lighter

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