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The new normal

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sKePTiKal:
Deb, that dancing doc - who realized what he was doing in an instant - is worth his weight in gold. Don't hesitate to call him to consult or for a second opinion or just to talk.

I think your hubby sounds better than Mike was. Even though I cared for his Mom, we never had to deal with this level of home care; this level of dependence. Keep him up & moving as much as he wants to be or can. That will help build muscle, which is the reason for the protein food. If anything will reverse the weight loss - those 2 in combination will do it.

Right now, you need to have at least 1 day a week where you get the full 8 hours to schedule appts for you, get out & drive & crank the radio up with the windows down... take care of the have tos... buy flowers... and have lunch with friends, shop... that was my mistake. I didn't realize I needed that until I was already desperate for it. And sleep... oh my... I needed sleep. You just need to be able trust that someone else is in charge of his care for that 1 day a week, so you can unwind; stand down; relax a bit.

People kept asking if I needed anything. LOL... I really literally couldn't think of a thing. I couldn't; not even for myself. Except the one thing I apparently wasn't going to have. Mike's brother and my SIL took care of some long-put off things on the "honey-do" list; they cooked. So I didn't have to decide. Those things were the most helpful. I didn't have to worry about the gate latch; the tires on the truck; or shopping for something that Mike really liked. As it was, he only took one tiny bite of the swordfish. So I started another in the long list of lists... of things I could delegate to people, to do when they offered. That really worked to keep things from "piling on".

Mike tried to race his way to the end, before the docs could do anything else to him (I think). He was where he wanted to be, with who he wanted to be with, when it was time to hit the timeclock and go home. So, it was as GOOD as it possibly could be for him; from his view point.

sKePTiKal:
Hey kiddo... I was thinking about you last night. How's it going? Everything on an even keel or have things taken another turn?

debkor:
Hi Amber,

Another turn. Hubby is actually doing pretty well with the chemo treatments. The side effects are not to bad but bad enough (to vomit) at times. It's his swallow that's causing complications. It's still not working correctly and due to vomiting he can aspirate. And he did, again. Had a 4 day hospital stay and aspiration/pneumonia.

The problem is..some Dr's think its from his brain (the swallow) which means its permanent. 

That is what's depressing my hubby the most and many of times he has shared that is what will kill him and not the cancer. He's hungry everyday and looks forward to when he can pass a swallow test and eat again.

So that's where we are at right now.

How are you doing, girlfriend?

lighter:
Hi Deb:


PT might be able to help your dh learn to swallow again.  My father did it after brain surgery that resulted in a stroke.

((((Deb and family)))

Lighter

debkor:
Thanks light,
 
That's what we are hoping for. They are sending PT to our house.  I feel so bad when I cook at home and it smells the house up. It's torture on hubby. He understands though. Hopefully one day he can dig in.

Deb

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