Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Continued healing
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Gaining Strength on June 05, 2016, 08:59:03 PM ---I have spent my life trying to avoid this pain. But for the past dozen years the way I have coped is to shut down. I finally figured out that putting myself in action triggered painful anxiety anticipating the humiliation to come from my parents. That is where I am. Right in the middle of this pain, learning not to cover it up. What I do to cover it now is zoning out for hours on the Internet. But I am agreeing to let the big time offenders go for a while.
I either function or sit still. I may have to include unscheduled television as well. It is time to let the pain in and move through it. I know I can do this. I am stuck in young childhood, longing for the help I needed from my parents, the instruction and encouragement and support that was replaced with humiliation instead.
--- End quote ---
GS, It does lift and get easier eventually, although not in one big chunk, I've found, waves and puddles is the image that springs to mind. I would say try not to give yourself a hard time about the way you cope with dealing with this. If you need some hiding under the duvet time, getting lost on the internet, watching back to back box sets then go for it. I have found it helpful to tell myself I deserve this as a treat or reward for dealing with something so difficult and make it into a bit of an event; choose a box set or a stack of films I've been wanting to watch but haven't got round to, put a fresh cover on the duvet, get some pillows and drinks and nice snacks, almost make it like a celebration that you're choosing to work through this and yes, it hurts and yes, it's horrible but you're dealing with it and the least you can do for yourself now, I think, is to make the way you deal with it as comfortable as you can. A lot has been written about parenting yourself if your own parents didn't give you what you needed and what I found was missing from my life was comfort, big cuddles on the sofa if I wasn't well, loving hugs, time spent choosing clothes to wear or helping with homework or making costumes for so and so's party. I have, and do, try to give myself that not, and I don't always manage it but I do know that doing it helps and it does start to repair some of the damage. Be kind to yourself. Be your own mum, give yourself a big cuddle, make a snoozy space up on the sofa and snuggle into it when you need to.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((GS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
lighter:
Here is a link to a site I just joined recently. The newsletter is at the top right of the page, and I'm ordering the Buddha's Brain book on CD today.
http://www.rickhanson.net/writings/books/buddhas-brain/
Another site that helps understand the child that goes into a turtle shell to cope with early trauma, what I believe you're explaining in your most recent post, is in the webinar about coaxing out avoidant children..... it's the 9th webinar down...
STRATEGIES FOR ENGAGING AVOIDANT AND RESISTANT ADOLESCENTS, which might give you important insights about the part of you that shut down all those years ago.
http://www.suwscarolinas.com/about/webinars-workshops/
I'm sending you Amazon strength to engage this abyss of pain, and get you through to the other side. You've got to go through it, GS.
It won't kill you.
It's a messenger, and it has many things to tell you.
((((GS))))
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Just wondering how you are doing, GS, as you don't seem to have been online as much recently. Hope you are doing okay xx
Gaining Strength:
Two penny, thank you for asking. Thank you so much for noticing. You have no idea what it means to me.
Honestly, it has been a pretty bad summer. But I believe I am going deep into very early trauma and that it is healing. I hope to find the light very soon.
How are you?
Hopalong:
Sending light and comfort, (((((((((((GS)))))))))).
I'm sorry it's been so hard this summer.
For me, the heat doesn't help the intertia issues, either.
Love and hope for you,
Hops
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version