Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Lighter update house purchase 2014 - 20257
lighter:
Well the Kondo book arrived yesterday, and just reading over the chapter titles is exciting.
The main message is..... there's a way to DO tidying, and not backslide. There's a way to DO it that transforms our entire lives, it's something we have to be taught. No one every learns how to properly DO it. Of course, we're going to struggle if we lack the skills, knowledge, and systems to make lasting change.
Kondo also writes that most of her clients are women over 50 who have been in charge of households for over 30 years. That's certainly, and I'm ready to live in the clean sunny spaces she keeps talking about.
I'm ready to dive in, but there's also procrastination. My yard has SO many branches, twigs, and sticks in it with recent winds, and all the large trees constantly dropping things. I had bushes removed when the front porch was replaced.... the bushes are still there. My yard is not as tidy as the neighbor's yards..... it bugs me.
I have bulbs to plant, and ferns waiting for permanent homes. It's beautiful outside! I feel like I should be out there, but book beckons. I think I'll chunk, do some more reading, then spend a couple hours outside, then a couple inside. The thing is...... tidying according to Kondo should be a marathon.
I don't have it figured out, but I have energy for it, and look forward to teaching my girls as I go. What an amazing thing to learn as a teenager. I wish I'd have been given these tools when I was their age.
About the Brain Integration Therapy..... I live 10 minutes from a practitioner. If anyone wants more information feel free to ask. Friday and Sat appts are saved for out of town clients, and she sees a lot of people from out of State, etc.
both dd15 and I could feel things getting moved around as the practitioner worked. My face felt like it wanted to spasm off my skull at one point yesterday.... little jabs in the brain as she worked, don't-cha know. I'm just so hopeful. The main goal for me is to correct all the vision involvement, and unswitch how information enters the wrong side of my brain..... I lose 50% then 50% of the information as my brain has to transfer the information to the correct side, then back again. I have to read and re read things to really understand information, and now I understand why.
BIT can also correct/balance allergies, and difficult emotions, etc. I know that as I spoke about things she would stop what she was working on and work on what came up..... emotional stuff. She's going to teach me basic skills of muscle testing..... I feel so blessed, and ready to happily move into a better place.
It's different than feeling I SHOULD. Last night I was very focused on cleaning and slicing beets very thin for roasting. Then the chicken, and broccoli I prepared for dinner. I didn't feel like I should be doing anything else.... and I really enjoyed being present in those moments, although it was just a tad difficult not to stop and put lights up on the deck. SO pretty outside. It feels like it's time for major change... and it's deja vu. I've been here before, but there was always somethng pressing, or crisis taking my focus. Also, I just didn't have the ability to identify strategies or facilitators...... it's happening.
Right now that's what everything's about, and I've also accepted that my childrens' journeys are their own. I'm stepping back, and letting them feel out driving their own boats...... I'm not the driver any more, which frees me up to concentrate on me and my stuff.
My stuff needs some work, ::nodding:.... quite a bit o fit.
It's time.
Amber..... you're going to have a wonderful celebration of Mike's life.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
This all sounds so amazing, Lighter, you sound so peaceful and at ease and so you should be, this is a lovely time for you and your girls and a lovely place for you all to be :)
lighter:
Thanks, Tupp.
I got a ton of work done in the yard today....... my back's not happy, but it's just fatigue. Sitting in moss, clearing sticks out of moss..... planning to thicken up the moss in spare areas.... did I tell you I love moss?
I spent an hour in the kitchen putting it in order, though I know there's a huge reckoning on the way.... today was not that day. I did 4 loads of laundry, and put it all away.
I spent a sunny hour on the new front porch reading Kondo's book, having dragged my big lovely rocking chairs up so they can be enjoyed.
I think there's magic in those pages. It's a way of changing the way we view our things, and our thoughts about them.
I left the bulbs out so I have to deal with them this week. I'm looking forward to it actually.
I wanted to put up the fairy lights on the back porch, but that didn't happen. When I get to that I'll take covers off the benches, and (shame shame) drag the Christmas tree to the burn pile next to the Amazon Fire Pit. I really love the smell of Christmas tree when I walk by. I'm guessing this practice would give Kondo the vapors. Last year I do it, I promise KONDO!
The mailbox had a lovely note from someone asking if I'm interested in selling my house..... they want to buy it. It is a special lot, though I hadn't realized I lost a tree at the forest's edge. What a mess. Someone did a lot of work on the run off ditch/stream bed when it rains, which was great BUT it had to be my elderly neighbor....
::feeling guilt:: I'll get better at it as I become less overwhelmed with things like renovating, moving, entertaining family, and girl's school.
I'm thinking of going back to school actually.
::nodding::
I'm going to get clean, and settle in for FACE OFF feeling pretty darned good.
I have another appt with BIT gal tomorrow, so it won't be till afternoon till I get to plant anything.
What a glorious day.... breezy, sunny, and cool.
Lighter
lighter:
I had a bit of extra time this morning, and it was exciting to spend time working on tidying up in preparation of marathon clean outs. Clean outs have always been difficult for me, mainly bc I'm the one who's charged with hanging on to family "stuff."
When my brother married, his wife cleaned out his much larger house, and dropped off all the family things being stored there to my much smaller home. I have things my children have laid claim to....... it's a problem. My SIl doesn't have a problem with clutter, but I've also been hanging on to things her children could want. My father's home is filled with things that belong to me, my sibs and our ancestors. I have to deal with it, but that's far down, and last frankly, on the list. We aren't to touch photos or keepsakes or heirlooms until we've learned to discern. Discernment mostly includes handling each item in a category, from a large pile on the floor, and asking it if it brings us joy. If not, it goes. We're to honor our belongings.... talk to them. Edit. Find permanent homes for them. Choose another category. Edit. Find p homes for them, and so on.
The one thing that's such a relief from the Kondo book is..... she makes it possible to deal with THINGS, and let them go without guilt/angst. It appears to get easier as we go, and so she's laid out a very stringent order to which we tackle our entire house. Dealing with our things means we're dealing with all the emotions surrounding them. We finish things, entirely, and then we clean out, release, and give up things that hold that emotional charge. It's really makes sense, and I could never have done this without a new world view on stuff, IMO.
I accepted I have to hire people to take things out of my hands when I organize and edit THINGS. Buying this book is the same thing, but it teaches me to take things out of my hands, and that's sea change for me.
Onward.
Lighter
lighter:
Massive day for BIT. It really hit home how much work is happening when I was tracking a pen right to left, then left to right, and my left eye shot off on it's own. A few minutes later, and it got better.... a few minutes more, and both eyes were tracking smoothly.... felt like they were on ballbearings BIG difference. I was looking for concrete changes like that to validate this decision.
I mean.... I'm on the table for 5 hours, so I have a lot of time to think about a lot of things...... What if this is all in my mind... etc.
There were times my face felt like it wanted to tweak off my skull. Times I could feel things going on inside my brain.... pulsing, heat, etc. Face tingling right now.
There were times I lost my balance, and times I felt fuzzy, and a bit sick to my stomach..... the sick happened later in the day after leaving her office.
All in all I felt like a ton was accomplished, and she taught me 3 quick easy kinesiology techniques..... she's eager to share her knowledge, which I love.
I go back for last session tomorrow.
So far, so good.
Lighter
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