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"Families of narcissists suffer most"--New England Psychologist article

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Dr. Richard Grossman:
Somehow, New England Psychologist found me in my usual hiding place and asked to do a Q & A on narcissism and its effects on others.  Here’s the interview just published in the April 2016 edition:

"Families of narcissists suffer most, psychologist says"

By Catherine Robertson Souter   New England Psychologist  April 1, 2016

http://www.nepsy.com/articles/leading-stories/families-of-narcissists-suffer-most-psychologist-says/

All comments are welcome!

Richard

Hopalong:
Good for you, Doc G!
So glad you're spreading the word.

Kudos,
Hops

lighter:
Doc G:

For some reason reading your interview made my teeth hurt.  N/pd relationships are so hopeless.

I noticed your new pic..... it surprises me every time I open the site and there you are.... beardless.  Looks good: )

Lighter

Dr. Richard Grossman:
Thanks Hops and Lighter!  I’m so glad you appreciated the interview—but I’m sorry your teeth hurt, Lighter!  It’s amazing—and horrifying—that this topic (narcissism) we have been facing/battling/discussing for 15 years has now come to the fore…

Richard

P.S.  Re: the new photo after many years.  Thanks, Lighter.  I never have photos taken of me, so when New England Psychologist asked for a photo (luckily they didn’t use it!), I took my very first “selfie.”  I couldn’t help but smirk given the topic of the interview—and I wrote along with the photo file I sent “Wow, a selfie!   I’m going to take lots more!”  Anyway, a dear friend told Hildy (my wife) the new photo (which I also used for this web site) was “horrid.”   Hildy agrees and is insisting upon taking another (maybe while I’m asleep).  What is most interesting to me about this topic is that my mother, Mitzi, felt exactly the same way about photos.  She (a very bright, multi-talented, and attractive woman) cut her own hair, rarely wore any makeup, and spent almost nothing on clothes.  Sometimes when I came home to visit, she would be wearing one of my or my brother’s old flannel shirts.  Other things, e.g. her poetry, music (piano and singing), fiction writing, and matters of non-personal aesthetics—not to mention her passionate political causes--were far more important.  It is so interesting how, as we get older, we see more clearly aspects of our parents in ourselves (although my passions lie not so much in art/aesthetics, but my relationships/attachments to family, patients, friends, and of course, dogs.)  Like the truism re: real estate prices:  “Location, location, location,” concerning these passed along personality traits, I always think:  “Genetics, genetics, genetics.”

Ales2:
Thanks for the article Dr G! Very interesting. Ive been more of a believer of severe neglect, abandonment or trauma as the cause of Narcisssism, but have to defer to your experience.

Here is an interesting tid-bit about trauma and my family history can be found here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Darmstadt_in_World_War_II

Sept 11th has different meaning for my family although it is rarely talked about. Sept 11th is my Aunt's (my Mothers' older sister) birthday. In 1944, they left their home and went out to dinner. When they returned, or tried to return, the neighborhood had been bombed and was demolished. All their possessions, clothes, furniture, china, photographs etc were burned by fire.   They spent the night in a local church and the next morning went to take a train to Southern Germany to live on a relatives farm.  My mother was the middle of 5 kids and she was 7 years old when this happened.  It is rarely ever talked about.

Ive often thought my Mother never really dealt with these issues, a survival instinct kicked in, which is the fear and shame based operating system she mostly has. To this day, she has trouble remodeling and changing things and cannot throw away things that no longer have any use. She has lived in the same house since 1974 which is a cluttered and dysfunctional mess now.

Anyway, this is where I think her problems come from, an uncertain and cruel world that her Mother had no way of helping her understand.



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