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Paralysis analysis

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Hopalong:
My biggest struggle right now is to focus on the job hunt.
I'm scared.
I'm lazy.
I often stay in bed ALL DAY--and it's not fatigue.
It's withdrawal from taking care of my life.

I have to stop hiding from it.
I have to move my body or it will stop working.

I'm pretty worried about how extreme it's getting.
I'm scared of the future. Losing two jobs in a row was pretty damaging to my morale,
which has been shaky in recent years anyway. I'm facing (or not facing) how damaging.

I did things yesterday that were good...but not today.

I'm alarmed at my capacity to keep turning over and giving up into escapism of binge levels.
I can't afford to do this level of self-sabotage but I've been doing it anyway.

Just scared,
Hops

lighter:
Hops:

You've overcome so much.  I have no doubt you NEED this down time.  Your body and mind are taking it, no matter how you feel about it, so you might resist judging....
 observe...... see what comes up. 

Sometimes we need to be still, Hops. 

On some level a part of you realizes you need this, and have time for it.  Finally.

Embrace the stillness, as you can, and trust that energy will come.  Movement will follow.  You will move yourself out of this space, IME.

Judging and beating yourself up only slows the process, IME.

(((((Hops))))))

::sending you the courage to embrace the stillness::


Lighter

Gaining Strength:
Sorry Hops.  It is very, very difficult to suffer that way. I know all too well.

ann3:
(((Hops))),
My friend had a job for 10 years and was fired.  She got another job and was fired after 2 months.  Then, she got a 3rd job & it was the right job and that's where she is today.  This all happened within the last year or 2. 

Like you, my friend lost the the 1st job because her boss was an A-Hole.  Likewise, she lost the 2nd job due to a dragon lady.  My friend found the 3rd job because she has marketable skills and I'm sure that you do too.  So, please don't give up.  It's hard, but the right job is out there for you.  Maybe a shower or a bath can help you mobilize?  Or a walk?

As we all know, there are A-Holes & dragons out there.  At first, it may be difficult to discern who the A-Holes & dragons are, but they show themselves in time.  So, when you find the 3rd job (and you will!!), may I suggest being a tabula rasa until you can discerned who are the A-Holes & dragons at the new job?  Both bosses & co-workers can be A-Holes & dragons & they're usually afraid the newbie might make them look bad in comparison.  So, Peter Principle:  find the level & rhythm of the new place where you'll be working & just fit in. 

Hope you feel better.

lighter:
I wish we could be there to guard your door, care for your pooch, bring you tea, and help you rally, Hops.

This too shall pass.

It always does, IME.

Lighter

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