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Elder Abuse and ending a friendship

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Ales2:
Last night I made the mistake of not learning from previous lessons. A friend called me to meet up for dinner, which I accepted, even though I had said to myself in the past the friendship was over, she is not a supportive friend and I should let her go. 

As always, she asked about Nmother and I relayed the story about her last visit ending with the police being called by me to take a report of elder abuse.  NMother plays nice, sets up a reason to visit, plays nice some more (making me feel guilty) then ends the evening again with her allegations of elder abuse. Advice from an attorney friend told me how to handle these allegations if they came up again, which I did and the police came rather swiftly and NMother would not give them a report (claims are false and she knows it) and was asked to leave the premises.  making accuations without filing a report can become a form of stalking and harassment.  I no longer allow visits as a result.

So, after relaying that story said friend went into her usual nonsense about how Mom is aging, this is senility or dementia (its not) and I should forgive her so she can have good memories of me if she should die soon (she turns 80 in december). Ive had enough from this friend and her forgiveness nonsense. Forgiving someone who is accusing you of a felony to be nice and allow her to abuse me again, or worse, make false claims and allegations and send me to jail or set me up to lose my job or apartment with criminal charges.  NO WAY.

This friend has to go - she does not seem to realize the severity and possible legal implications of NMothers false claims. Forgiveness does not apply when you have to preserve your rights, your freedom and your sanity.  These allegations are burning bridge that cannot be rebuilt.  Any sane and smart person would run from this kind of toxic behavior. 

Friendship over.

lighter:
I agree with you 100% Ales.

I don't think there's any room in our lives for people who threaten us with jail time, help others harm us, or minimize the harm/possible harm.

There shouldn't be the first pass given on that one, IMO.

Not one.

Lighter

Ales2:
Thanks Lighter, I agree. She has made those forgiveness overtures before, what surprised me this time was that with the elder abuse allegations, that her perspective on forgiveness did not change, she minimized the potential risks.  Have to say, she works in insurance home/auto/life. You would think her professional background would be more practical at assessing risk!  LOL!

ann3:
Hi Ales,
I remember that incident with your NM.  She's crazy like a fox.

I agree about this so called "friend".  She doesn't hear you or listen to your concerns. Yes, she minimizes & negates you & lacks empathy for your situation.  You deserve better. 

Ales2:
Thanks Ann for your comments and kind words.


--- Quote ---She doesn't hear you or listen to your concerns. Yes, she minimizes & negates you & lacks empathy for your situation.  You deserve better. 
--- End quote ---

Oh, the irony!  This is exactly what NMothers do!   LOL

And, have to add, its not like friends should agree with me all the time, there are times when I can be wrong (obviously, anyone can), but a caring friend shows empathy, listens well and let us know we are being heard, even when we don't agree.

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