Author Topic: LOST passion for a HOBBY.... even maybe all of them  (Read 1733 times)

Meh

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LOST passion for a HOBBY.... even maybe all of them
« on: May 31, 2016, 11:51:55 PM »
In the past I liked to hike, rock climb, do yoga, garden, did martial arts, painted, print making, knitting.

Now I sort of do nothing but work and come home, make food, sleep, get on skype with some guy in Finland.

Maybe I don't care, maybe all of those things are frivolous or not accessible.

Any of you ever gone from having hobbies to then just having none whatsoever, is it just a normal part of getting old? 

Does it matter, is it giving up?
 

lighter

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Re: LOST passion for a HOBBY.... even maybe all of them
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2016, 01:45:52 AM »
G:

What would it look like if you planned a hiking trip, or took up walking every weekend for at least 2 hours?

What would it look like if you stretched 10 minutes every morning, and did 10 minutes of your favorite yoga poses?

Do you think you could do that if you didn't turn your computer on first thing, or on the weekends, except for a short planned period of time?

Lighter


sKePTiKal

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Re: LOST passion for a HOBBY.... even maybe all of them
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2016, 08:49:20 AM »
G: yes, that has happened to me... and my list is much like yours.

I'm currently drawing again - but it's house plans for changing the cabin Mike & I bought into space that's usable and easy to live with, for me. Very, very applied. Back when I started into therapy, my T convinced me to strike out and try something "creative" that I thought I'd like. So, I went to a natural history museum on a Saturday to draw. I did perhaps 4-5 pencil drawings at home -- Hops even had one sent to her as a big thank you, for being such a good friend as I pulled a lot of old scabs off. I experimented with watercolor and Chinese brush painting a little too. All that was 10 years ago now.

In between, I made a lot of little kid, baby, and wedding clothes, too. I made stuffed toys. Mended a few jeans.  ;)

I've been thinking about buying a loom and learning to weave - the serious stuff. Which is one reason I need the huge re-do at the cabin. LOL. Workspace, designing a multipurpose studio.

The "why" I just "stopped"... is complicated and a long story. I don't know if you want to hear it. One big reason I stopped is "other people's wants & needs" conflicted with the amount of time and solitude I needed to create. So, my increasingly overwhelming need for connection got in the way and conflicted with an old need to pleasantly be alone in my own space, answerable to no one but my self... in glorious peace (with a soundtrack)...

In some ways, I was feeling selfish and guilty for the time I spent "making things". Because I can be happy as a bug in a rug all by myself doing my stuff. And it's odd-funny you should bring this up -- because right now, I'm REALLY struggling with reclaiming that kind of space for myself. I'm trying, but it's an itchy hair shirt that doesn't feel right or fit. Process, I think is different - so I have to let go all my old rigid rules about "how I get into that space" where time disappears and I just keep on "making it so". Commonly known as "the zone"...

without feeling like I should be doing something else...
without dismissing and invalidating my own enjoyment of this stuff...

without being embarrassed that I'd rather do something like that, than be around a bunch of people just for the sake of being around a bunch of people -- because it's supposed to be "normal".
« Last Edit: June 01, 2016, 08:51:44 AM by sKePTiKal »
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: LOST passion for a HOBBY.... even maybe all of them
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2016, 09:03:48 AM »
Hey, Boat.

It's depression, imo. I get it. I told my counselor
for years, week after week, "I've lost interest in my
own life." It's taken a lot of time and patience with
nature's slow way of healing, but I'm starting to come
out of it. It started with grief and loss, then morphed.

I hope you will find someone excellent to talk to.
You deserve to process everything you've been through,
and not alone. That's the key, imo: not alone.

What you've been through was a lot; huge, self-changing.
Sometimes, imo, you have to find something else to believe
in for a time. Even if it's just the process. Let that carry you
when will or wishing can't.

You'll be okay. And you will have new chapters of hope,
aliveness and creativity. But probably not without dealing with
the depression.

Love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

JustKathy

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Re: LOST passion for a HOBBY.... even maybe all of them
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2016, 02:45:27 PM »
I've not only gone through that, but am actually battling it now. I used to be so full of life, very active, collected things, had hobbies, but in the last five years or so I've simply stopped caring. Hops is right, it IS a sign of depression. The psych I see for my anxiety recommended that I get back into therapy, which I've done. It does help a lot while I'm in her office, but I tend to slide right back into my funk within an hour of leaving. Therapy can sure help, but when the therapist doesn't have much knowledge of NPD, you can only benefit so much. Still, just having someone to talk to is very beneficial. Even though this particular therapist doesn't have much insight into the N-Mother relationship, she listens to me and doesn't judge, so that alone helps to change my outlook. When you're depressed, it's very important to not feel alone.

Some of it may be age, too. I'm at the age (mid 50s) where I no longer think about collecting things, but think about the need to downsize and get rid of all the stuff. When you hit a certain age, the meaning of the word "future" changes, though I'm sure that's something we all go through, and definitely something that counseling can help with.

Please know that you're not alone, and do talk to a professional about it. I can say from my own experience that the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. I'm pretty sure that everyone experiences this kind of funk at some point in their lives. Those of us with baggage definitely have it worse, but there is help out there. You'll be okay.

Hugs,
Kathy

Meh

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Re: LOST passion for a HOBBY.... even maybe all of them
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2016, 04:06:44 AM »
Yeahs, sometimes in life a person just kind of does a topical assessment of themselves, says to themselves "dang how did I get HERE".

Hopalong

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Re: LOST passion for a HOBBY.... even maybe all of them
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2016, 02:51:08 PM »
About depression, Boat?

You know this can be helped and treated?

You deserve help and treatment, right?

(Answering self: Yes she DOES.)

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."